Do you really understand what I mean when I say I am in love with you?  I am not in love with my love for you and my love for you has not went past our friendship. And if it had, what for? nothing would have ever come of it.......As I have said before....I live in reality and I am not here dreaming about you and thinking that we will one day be together some time in the future.....my goodness!!! What have I entered into?

 

For me it is plain: You entered into an intimate friendship with a man with two wives. You learned that as with most men, behind the superficial exterior that he had a heart of flesh and blood. You loved him with the love of Jesus and your love was true. When you became aware of your love for me you loved me that much more. Remember, my beloved Lotus... I first loved you.

 

 Is it time for me to turn and run as fast as I can away from this friendship or is it for me to stay and battle and fight my way into the bars you have put up for me once again? Me thinks I will stay and battle, cause you mean to much to me to let go. And I am not in love with you as lovers love one another, you and I will never become intimate.. If at anytime you feel that my telling you I love you bothers you in some way,  feel free to let go of this friendship, I will be ok, I will miss you, but  go on with my life.... I will understand. People come into our lives sometimes and stay, for a brief moment, others  for a second, some for a life time...which of these do we fit??? I am not here to pester you, or become a burden in anyway, just to be your friend and friend only., my prayer is to one day be united with the man who is to be my life partner in everyway, blessed of God and joined before Him in a Holy union..

 

I pray for your safety and protection. That is my role as your friend and brother in Jesus. I am an honest man... A passionate man...  With a love for full Bible truth. What's not to love? There is a good deal about love that people fail to understand. One of the greatest misconceptions people have about love is that they think it is an emotion. Love is not an emotion.

 

 .... I  love you because you are my friend, yet I am in love with you... now can we please put this subject to rest???? I am weary of it.... Now I do hope my saying this will not put distance in our friendship , yet ,still it is how I feel, and I am getting myself ready for your come back to what I am about to say....You and I believe differently when it comes to the Biblical stance on marriage, I believe marriage to be a uniting of a man and a woman together in the Site of God to become one!!  Your views differ quite a lot from mine....

 

Not really. I can say with complete confidence that I believe marriage to be a uniting of a man and a woman together in the sight of GOD to become one flesh. How is this any different from your view? Moses became one flesh with his wives, Jacob became one flesh with his wives, Abijah became one flesh with his wives, David became one flesh with his wives and every time a man marries a wife the twain become one flesh. How is this view any different? It is the female mind that excludes the possibility of other wives to her own detriment... Yet ask any good mother to sacrifice one of her children and see what happens.

 

I could never live with you or be with you or any man out side of a marriage liscense and a wedding, in the site of God as He has ordained it to be!

 

 

I know that marriage has been polluted by all the ungodly unions, and such, still it is a beautiful thing ordained of God and I thank Him for it because it brings two people.... a man and a woman, together for better or for worse as one,( when it is done according to God's word in a Holy joining)...I hope to enter this union again in the future, and I pray you will be there to share in my happiness.

 

 

Do not worry so much about me, I will do just fine. I am trying to learn how to date . I will one day open my heart and let a man love me again. Just pray for me because I need a lot of prayer, it's a jungle out here and the wolves are circling!! I read a lot on your other web sites, I visit them often. You are harsh in your views and cold still, yet, I understand why. I use to think ....what if I were standing before you face to face would you bite my head off????? You use to hurt my feeling all the time and then I would try to let go of this friendship by deleting you and still you would grab hold and fight me, and I never understood why.

 

 

 

I was just one of a hundred of women on [A CHRISTIAN FORUM] why was it so important to you that I remained as one of your friends.....as you can see now, it really doesn't matter..... people come into our lives and go out of our lives, we lose friends and gain new ones.......I have a lot of new friends on [A CHRISTIAN FORUM] and I talk to a lot of nice people there and on my other sites as well ...men, single and married....as well as women, single and married and a lot of younger people too....I like it there!!!!  I have a lot of offline friends that I talk to....but not in the way that I talk to you....our conversations are rare and I treasure them and I treasure you also...... I  am sorry about your Turtle Plato, I hope and pray that she will be found soon, you had her for a long time and I know you are hurting from losing her....   Now I must go, I have written enough over the last few days and I am sorta tired......I must get myself ready to go to work as I work the night shift this week. You and your family take care and I will talk again with you in the future, ok.........

 

 

 

Is this a game or something that I am caught up in? Ok,when does reality set in and I get blown away? All of my sayings, my thoughts that I have shared with you concerning my husband, my confusion and hurt..... will others get to see that too and laugh at my inward pain?????? What is this? Am I just a joke to you?? I am begining to think that this is some kinda comedy with me as the host!!!!

Please do not feel this way. We have no better example than truth to guide us. People watch sit-coms on television and read romance novels because they are fictitious and they fail to understand that it is the pain of reality that they are really hiding from. True love is no joke. There is nothing funny about the sacrifice JESUS made for us on the cross and there is nothing humorous about the pain He voluntarily suffered for our sakes.

Lord, I pray this is not so, cause you would be doing me great harm and you don't even care or notice, as long as you get what you want in your forum, my pain matters none,... how stupid I have been...how entirely trusting I was, to my own undoing!!!!.......What have I walked into.....I mean is your whole family and friends getting a good laugh at my expense, is it funny because I say I love you and want you to share in my marriage one day...

Not at all. I want you to get whatever it is that you need and I want you to stop hurting. The reason I am opening this in my forum (keeping it fully anonymous of course) is for others to learn. You are not the only one hurting, my beloved Lotus. I am confident that this love is so proper that none can condemn you or I for sharing such a thing in a semi-public forum and that is the reason I chose to share it with others. I want the young women and young men to also understand that it is possible to have such love without the burdens and the setbacks of the flesh... No pictures, no sex, no tom-foolery... just love.  I also want people to understand that love is a good deal more than mere emotion and surely you must know this by now. I'm sorry I frightened you.

I did not mean to give the impression that I thought you wanted to marry me, my goodness. That is a horse that we have already rode and I do not want to go backwards again with this subject.....but for one more time I will and then this subject is put to rest!!!!! I have not at any time wished to belong to you as one of your wives, I have said to you before that I could never live with you or any man out side of what I believe marriage  in the site of God means to me . No, there was no marriage liscense in the garden of eden with Adam and Eve but they were united by God still the same in some form of marriage and Adam did not take on multiple wives either!!!

There is no proof that Adam did not have other wives. Why is this matter so important to you all of a sudden? The word "multiple" is used ambiguously and is horrendously abused by the scripturally ignorant. There is a great difference between what GOD has added unto His servants and how man has chosen to multiply. Nonetheless GOD did say "be fruitful and multiply". Is this a sin also? I think not. GOD commanded the King of Israel not to mutiply wives as horses and cattle; He said all this in the same breath; and also told the King in the very same breath not to multiply much gold or silver; but GOD added wives into the bosom of King David and GOD added wives to men like Abijah and to Jacob and Moses and even to Gideon; but there are many less prominent men in the scripture to whom GOD added wives. GOD does not change and every man has his perfect gift from GOD.

Just because Araham, Solomon etc had multiple wives, it does not mean that God was pleased with their choosings....... The old testament deals with multiple wives, the new testament deals with one man and one woman only....one flesh united in the site of God!!! to lay with a man or woman out side of marriage is fornication, a sexual sin in God's eyes and His Word speaks on this so many times, and says flee fornication!!!!

Solomon disobeyed GOD and multiplied wives instead of receiving only what GOD added to him. He did wickedly in the sight of GOD. The old testament deals with individuals as much as the new testament. You will never find those words you just shared with me between the lids of the Holy Bible. There is no such "with one man and one woman only". That is a lie and a fabrication generated by westernized religion to control "the masses". Fornication is as fornication does. Fornication is sexual activity outside of what GOD called marriage. Two men with eachother cannot be called marriage. It is fornication. A human and an animal is fornication. Two women forsaking natural affection is fornication. Adultery is fornication. All of this is plainly addressed in the volume of the book whereas GOD blessed men with wives (plural). Please do not call that which GOD has blessed common and unclean. Fornication is uncleaness whereas wives (plural) are a blessing from the LORD.

I choose to believe His word and rely on my beliefs as you rely on your views of what Biblical marriage means to you in the site of God!! ...  You and I disagree about this and most surely always will....... you confuse me to no end.....yet, here we are.......why we are here, I do not know. Why do you want to give me your phone number??? You are not my friend!!!

I thought it might be a friendly gesture to give you my phone number - especially after all the serious and deeply intimate discussions we have had. I wanted you to know precisely the opposite of what you obviously now suspect... That you think this is only a game and that I am not genuine. It was my TRUST toward you. I have other friends with whom I have shared my telephone number so I do not see why it should be any different with us. You're making a good deal more of this than it actually is. My intentions were forthright; howbeit, perhaps yours were not... Perhaps I caught someone at their own game. Sorry, but I tell my wives and my friends about my friends! Occult was never my favorite game.

Is it so you can laugh at me through the phone lines and let everyone around hear in our converstations and laugh too..do you want to break me??? to destroy me???..no thank you I will pass......If I want all of my business put in the streets, I will go on the evening news and put it there......You think nothing of hurting me and you make it seem as if I am in love with you as lovers are in love, I have told you and I know how I feel......l do not love you as lovers love one another and I am not in love with you as love is.......but I love you because you are my friend.......

I am hardly laughing. Have I ever stated otherwise? Are you ashamed of your love for me? Is it because I have two wives and you are a woman that it bothers you that much that I should make our friendship semi-public? Does it bother you that I am not nearly the pervert you likely thought I was? Perhaps it is me who is being unfairly used... You seem to enjoy the benefits of our friendship in secret, but when I go semi-public with this, you are offended. It's not as though we were standing in my bed room when I freely opened the door a little wider. Admittedly, discretion is the better part of valour, sister. Am I so filthy and dirty to you that you do not want others to know about our friendship? I can say with all confidence that I am your friend. I am a bigger friend to the sex police than the sex police actually know. Only you can say if you are really a friend to me. I cannot make that decision for you. As for me, I rejoice in our friendship. I want the whole world to know I have a friend, no strings attached, no lust, no expectations, and no discrimination. She accepts me as I am: A man with two wives, and does not condmen me for it. Perhaps I spoke too soon.

I have never been led to you by the Spirit as nothing but your friend, do you not understand this?????

I understand this perfectly. Neither did I ever ask you to be more than a friend or a brother to you at any time. I am not confused about my love for you. Nor did I ever say that I was "in love with you". I'm sorry if you feel as though you were mislead. . . You never took offence to this knowledge before. Why should it matter now? Because I fully rejoice in the knowledge that I found a friend and want to share our great conversations with others? I told you about my wives from the beginning. To the best of my knowledge I have never attempted anything froward with you. I offered you my phone number in good faith that we were friends. It was the least that I could do with respect to a person who has invited me to their wedding.

I seek not to be joined to you as a sister bride or any thing else!!!!, I do not want to be intimate with you......only be your friend......and this is costing me much as I now see...you are so use to people coming against you....you are so bent on fighting and arguing and going up against others until you do it with everyone.....

Hu-u-h??? Who asked you for this? Not me... Why are you acting like this? I have nothing to hide. Do you? What do you mean by those words "do it with everyone"...You mean, pull down strong holds? Yes. That is my purpose. I will not apologise for this; but unlike you, most of these have not seen my loving side, have not known my love, and cannot see me. You caught a glimpse and you already had a small taste so you know my love is true. Why do so many people have to bring things down to the level of fleshly lust all the time? I thought for once I had a female friend who fully understood and respected my covenant with my wives. That is the impression you gave me. I want you to know something, Lotus blosom... I have every single e-mail you sent me and you sent me a good deal more than I sent you. I can only hope you understand that not all men are the same. Some of us are honest.

I will not do this with you anymore..let someone else do it...I give up!!!... I am tired ......so I will do what I must do and put away this friendship,... for my sanity, my heart, and my spirit,.. I am walking away from you........As you said you are use to people coming and going in your life... so I will be one more person to leave and....and I will not look back!!!  ........ I now close this door that was opened to our friendship.......I........I now move on with my life......please do not email me again or try to contact me for I will not answer you nor read anything you write to me ever again...you have hurt me for the last time!!!!.

I'm sorry I hurt you. I did not realize that you were only playing with me. I was honest and forthright with you and at no time did I ever ask you to be more than a sister or a friend. I feel as though you are ashamed of me... That it was fine for you to communicate with me in secret but not okay for anyone else to know. Did you forget that I told you that I permit my wives to read your communications? I am not a liar. I am an honest man and for me, this is no game. Whatever you may or may not have tried to make this, I know that my love passed the test. Perhaps that is what really bothers you... Perhaps you thought I was some kind of pervert all along and now your angry with me because you "wasted your time". True love passes the test and wisdom is justified of her children. Have I not told you before?

Your email has been deleted from my list.......you will not have me to make fun of in your forum anymore.........I exit.....so another can enter.....I pray she or he will not be treated as a good laugh for you , your family and your forum..maybe one day you will come to understand what I really wanted from you....friendship, your conversations, your love, your caring,.... all this because I was your friend......... as you once were mine....  .............goodbye [...] , take care  and may God richly bless you and your family, always.     

You have made a choice and I will respect that... As I have respected it so many times before. I will also have my say where I choose and I choose this place because I know you will be reading it. I am sorry that you are too ashamed of me and too afraid to be my friend. Rarely do I present myself as I am to others as I presented myself to you. Perhaps you feel privy to this knowledge and interpret this to be something more than it was. No, I have friends who also know about my love and they are not married to me either. You were the one who told me to "open up" and trust you. I'm sorry your feelings got hurt in the process. I did not know that you were ashamed of me.

GOD bless you, my beloved Lotus, whoever and wherever you may be   

JT