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I find a certain Pastor Don Milton's approach to BIBLE POLYGAMY very informative. Although I am not member of his fold, I do believe Pastor Don Milton preaches some sound doctrine here. Please observe his reply to a man desiring to be honest and forthright with his wife :

Dear Pastor Don:

I believe that a man can have more than one wife and still be a Christian.

Now that I've come to this conclusion, how do I tell my wife?

How can I know how she'll respond?

 Scaredy Cat in Maine

 

Dear Scaredy Cat:

It is impossible to know how your wife may respond to your broaching the subject of polygamy. I can tell you that it is 90 percent likely that she will have a violent reaction. I Repeat it is 90 percent likely that she will have a violent reaction.

When you initially talk about polygamy with her she may think it's truly in theory that you're bringing it up and discuss it like there's nothing wrong with it since she has likely heard that missionaries in foreign lands don't forbid it. But the fact is, you will only find out how close she is to God when you find out whether she is willing to submit to the word of God concerning marriage .

How many wives submit to biblical principles of marriage within monogamy?  How few indeed when polygamy is involved. When and if you introduce her to real life Christian polygamists she will likely want to impose the death penalty or prison upon them regardless of her prior acceptance of the fact that polygamy should be permitted by missionaries in foreign lands.

You'll find that her reaction will be much worse to Christian polygamists than to polygamists of other religions because it will strike her to close to home. Your relationship with your wife will be changed forever.

She may divorce you. She may even commit adultery shortly after you bring up the topic of polygamy with her. She may even try to injure or kill you. If you follow the advice of some polygamy advocates on the Internet you will likely be forced to suffer many years of unhappiness because they will encourage you to bring up polygamy with her on a regular basis using their so called love not force method. Any man who loves himself would not even think of going through the years of torment required to love a wife into letting him have more than one wife. All the while you would be loving, she would be hating and mistreating you.

The wives of men who have tried this method do everything they can to make life miserable for them. Month after month, your wife will threaten you with everything from divorce to taking away the kids to even lying about your behavior. Who does the "love not force" approach to polygamy help most? It helps those who receive donations from the men supporting the ministries advocating this method. Those men will be supporting the "love not force" promoters forever since it will be forever until their wives accept polygamy voluntarily. If you try this method your wife may actually claim to accept the idea of polygamy so that she can have some dirt to throw at you in a custody battle. A judge will be even less sympathetic to polygamy than your estranged wife.

There is a new obstacle to those who mention "love not force" to their wives. If their wife mentions "love not force" to a counselor who's worth his salt, he'll just visit the "love not force" website to research the subject and report back to the wife, saying, "Just keep pretending like you're listening to what he's saying but keep telling him that you're not ready yet. His mentor tells him that he can't have another wife unless you say so. Just string him along, by the time he's 70 he'll give this up!" The wife will say, "70? Why should I stop there?? I'm going to torment this monster till he goes to his deathbed. He'll have his eyes fixed on me. I'll be his lord. "Your wife will be your lord. Your eyes will be fixed on her. This case is sort of like the lottery and is why I'm against the lottery. When a man buys a lottery ticket, where are his eyes fixed? On the possibility of riches, not on the Lord. When a man turns over the decision making process for having another wife then where are his eyes fixed? On his wife, on that hope, that giver of... WHAT! You get my point.

So what's the real problem with taking another wife? If you have children the real problem is that a disagreeable wife may take them away from you. YOU MUST NOT make any rash decisions because of this. When it comes to discussing polygamy with your wife my only advice is DON'T DO IT! Don't bring up polygamy with your wife unless you're already practicing it. It's just not worth it. To bring up polygamy with your wife when you haven't even got a concubine is to ask for unnecessary torment. If you have a concubine (a woman who is willing to be your wife without living with you) your wife will probably be motivated to compete with her but your wife will have no motivation to compete with an idea.

Her discussion of polygamy will more closely resemble an inquisition than a conversation between believers. She will want to quash your idea. She may want you to renounce what you know to be a valid form of marriage. She may want to put your mind in chains and not be satisfied until she succeeds. If she succeeds in this then you'll be in submission to her in all other areas as well. Your spiritual walk will be gravely affected if you renounce any of your beliefs in submission to your wife. At least if you wait until you already have a concubine you will have someone on whom you can lean in your hours, days, weeks, months, years, of distress!

Ha ha ha I'm laughing but I'm dead serious. Why put yourself in torment? If you take a second wife secretly you will have someone with whom you can share your life after your wife throws her fit. You'll be able to say ok honey, ok honey, and still enjoy your life. However, if you say ok honey, ok honey, and are not practicing polygamy then you'll feel isolated and in chains.

Note: Pastor Don Milton receives letters on a daily basis from those seeking advice on all types of marriage issues. Names or events will never be displayed in a way that will give away the identity of the writer of the letter.

 Pastor Milton's website can be located at http://www.christianmarriage.com/home


COMMENTARY

"If you take a second wife secretly you will have someone with whom you can share your life after your wife throws her fit." - Pastor Don Milton

The above quotation exemplifies precisely the reason why there are so many misinformed people who consider the biblical practise of polygyny to be occult. The godly tradition of keeping two or more wives need not be kept in secret. It is time for the patriarchs to step forth in the name of God and to declare the Full Bible Truth. I will not laugh concerning this pastor's answer. It is very hard for a man of God who receives this revelation to take a stand for the truth but God gives men who are sincere toward Him the strength to prosper in the Word and to feint not.

This man likely knows that his revelation is not rooted in carnal lust; he knows what most people will think of him; he knows the oppression that he will face; but he wants to be completely honest with the wife of his youth because there is no desire in him to deal treacherously with her. It is evident that he loves her -- perhaps he fears her. Scaredy Cat's  wife, on the other hand, has likely been so steeped in the traditions of western culture promoting a romantic myth fed to sucessive generations of children at the hands of both Protestants and Catholics alike, that she will indubitably reject her husband's sincerity and obvious regard for her thoughts and feelings.

No, not all men of God are to marry and neither are all men of God to marry only one wife. A godly husband knows what he must do to be a proper husband to one or more wives but the majority of humanity is ignorant. No, not all women of God are to marry. Neither are all women of God even to marry only one. Some widows are to marry in the Lord. God will not force anyone to marry but many marry when they should not and many marry for the wrong reasons.

Scaredy Cat  should seek council in the Lord, gird his loins, and be a man. Jesus said the truth is not for the feint of heart but the strength is there for those men who desire to stand in the truth and declare it. Many men fear their wives more than they fear God; but the time is coming when this will soon stop. Of course, the majority of North American women would dread to see this day if they knew it was coming. Those worldly women who were sinfully conditioned to believe that they are justified todesire a man as a man desires a woman, will discover that this was never God's intention. This thinking is a hard-wired, built-in, program designed by the enemy to set up every generation for a most bitter and miserable fall. It follows that once the perceived "treachery and betrayal" sets in, so rarely do these once tender hearts ever heal. It is a classic self-destruct mechanism: The price of believing a lie.

Misinformed pastors are teaching people that monogamy is the only acceptable form of sanctified marriage.This is exactly what the enemy wants us to believe because he knows that the flesh is weak. The enemy knows that the woman was made for the man and not the other way around. So he uses this against women and men to cause them to think that women should be treated equally, just as men are treated by men. Women are also led to think that they should desire a man exactly the same way that a man desires a woman. This is false. Two things cannot be equal except they are identical. Show me the scripture that states that women are equal to men and I will agree that sexual equality is from God.

Alas, both men and women have forgotten just what things are exclusive to women and just what things are exclusive to men. Confusion is abound. Gender distinction and gender roles are considered cardinal sins today. A worldly woman forfeits her priveleges as a woman when she strives to attain to the priveleges of a man. She forgets her children, she forgets her natural affection, she forgets her role, and the vicious cycle perpetuates. Please step back and take a good look around you... What happens to any society when sodomy and lesbianism are embraced? Step even further back in history and behold the big picture: Allegations of adultery and fornication are everywhere and is it any wonder! When the land becomes this polluted the men are slaughtered, leaving behind an abundance of widows and fatherless children. The goal is CONFUSION.

All this because the worldy woman desires to subject her spouse to the ANTI-BIBLICAL 'law of the wife' and the husband lets her have it. Neither the worldly husband or the wife desires to submit to the law of the HUSBANDMAN. The western woman is not so inclined to embrace the scriptural "law of the husband". Why should she be inclined to agree that her husband may be entitled to more than one wife when she has already been raised to think and to act like a man? The day is coming when she will have little choice in the matter but to submit.

How many are aware that there is a country that has a document that was written even before Christ Jesus was born in mint condition? This scroll has been validated an authentic document by the very best of specialists suited for the job. It is the book of Isaiah and, to the best of my knowledge, it is on public display in Israel. It was found among the Dead Sea Scrolls. What surprised the experts most was the preservation of the actual translation of Isaiah throughout the ages. Virtually none of the translation was lost in the AKJV rendering of this scroll into the English. Now admittedly, none of this is news but for me, it is a testament to how the LORD has preserved His word so perfectly that we can still access it just as it was intended.

I think there is merit in looking to the people of the Torah for those answers pertaining to biblical law with respect to marriage. Jesus stated that not one jot, not one tittle of the law, shall pass until heaven and earth are passed and ALL is fulfulled. The Holy Spirit, even Jesus, will not contradict the letter of the law but will rather fulfill it. God cannot lie. For those readers who are interested in a brief history of monogamy from a more Jewish perspective, I invite you to click on the following link:

www.patriarchywebsite.com/monogamy/mono-history.htm#MONOGAMY%20IS%20AS%20OLD%20AS%20ADAM