Hahaha...hey, lb, I'm not going anywhere, but I am sure you will agree...if it could be arranged, this is how to go! hahaha

 

No..I won't change it, as it was a conscious thought about ones time...but for you only...

 

And lay me down gently

 

As raindrops, I cry,

 

OK??? lol. Zy x mmnnnn I quite like that! Actually hahaha

Zydha! this is such a beautiful poem, But I agree with bill about that last line beautiful as it is. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it. Love Val xx  

Zy,

 

by nature I am contradictory- but I have to disagree with the others, and not just for the sake of it. This poem needs that last line- without it, what are you describing? It's just imagery, beautiful imagery, but still imagery.

 

Having read Auden's Funeral Blues (Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone- a little bit reactionary I think!) and Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral In My Brain (mourners to and fro), though these are some of my favourite poems and poets, I much prefer your take on death Zy.

 

Please leave this poem as is, because when I got to the last line I wasn't shocked- I felt like I understood exactly what you were talking about. I felt like the poem was complete, and I don't think any other line could complete it.

 

It's perfect, it's finished, it's wonderful.

 

Keep it as is, please.

 

Sin

Dear Lincus,

 

All well and good, but poetry is also a matter of personal taste and I for one found this poem much too light and bubbly to deal with such a noble subject. True I'd agree that new concepts and viewpoints are exciting, but in my opinion, the poem either doesn't do the subject matter justice, or the subject matter perverts the poem...(?)...lol..whatever, I don't wish to detract from Zed's fine poem, but I think you make it a bit easy for yourself when you attribute rejection to a so called 'typical British attitude'.

 

Regards

: )lb

Hello Lincus, it would appear that I am in line with the thinking of Socrates, for I see no reason to fear that which gives no definate reason for fear.

 

We have had a further debate on this point you have raised and unfortunately, I did not win, but it was interesting. I am pleased you find my approach to an everyday subject as original as you said to Sin.

 

I also agree with what you say about the general attitude to the word death, it is at least distasteful and at worst, fearsome. Whereas, since it is the only thing in life which is the definate article...I don't have a problem discussing, writing, nor enbracing it when the time comes, since there is little one can do about it. It is unavoidable...so, I cannot see why it can't be used as a vehicle of pleasantness, instead of gloom and doom. I thought about changing the last line, but I decided not to, as it was my concept of a peaceful ending, Zydha

 

ps. Thanks everyone for your reactions to my poem, I love debates and I would love this to have been a face to face one as it is a subject which does interest me. I am not fascinated by death, but feel it is more commonplace than we seem to have concluded.The poets and of course Socrates could have made for an interesting discussion as to why the word conjures such reactions, Zydha

 

OK Sin, for you....I shall leave it alone. : )lb

I'm for leaving it how it is too, I think it fits quite well.

Well I love it just as it is - to me it is utterly beautiful

Hy Eva, yes, you got it in one, an 'old' lady just accepting the inevitable, lol, I have never had a fear of dying, as you probably gathered from the 'debate', more has to be feared in life, I've found. I am also terribly realistic, I'll have a bash at sorting out things I don't like in my life...but this is the one thing about living which one can prolong, but never divert. We can only hope it is this peaceful.

 

I am not going to change the last line, Eva, as this is what I meant when I wrote it and to change the last line would be to destroy my first inspiration of thought. Thanks for your lovely reply, Zydha x