| Dr Fraud, Please help me! Ive recently been licking doors. I cant help it. i cant stop myself everytime i see a door, i just need to lick it. my tounge has splinters and they HURT!! please help me... oh god theres a door.......... Sincerely, Door Molester Dear Door, It might help you to know, you are not alone in this obsession. A while back, I began to notice wet spots on the outside my office door, usually following an after hours session with one of my patients. I suspected the worst, of course and had the fluid tested. Turns out, it was just saliva. I set up a camera and got this picture. I was just on the verge of reporting this to the authorities, when it occurred to me... that this individual needed help and in an off hand way, perhaps observing others receiving treatment would be of help. I moved my couch directly in front of the door, so as not to obscured any part of the treatment. My technique in administering comfort, to those that need my services has vastly improved, now that I know, I am helping more than just one at a time. Hope this makes you feel better about your urges and you might try a propalactic, to cut down on the splinters. Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud. p.s. my next after hours session is at 6:30 on wednesday. I will leave the office key under the doormat, just in case you think you might benefit from this type of therapy. | Dr. Fraud, I seem to have developed an unhealthy attachment to the toaster... do you think that it is wrong ?? Also could you please explain why the tennis balls I keep putting in the microwave never seem to hatch ?? Thanks a bunch... Saph Dear Saph, Most toasters are made of stainless steel to be resitant to heat. This is a mirror like finish and one can see themselves in it. You aren't a Libra, by chance are you? Can't help you on the tennis balls, but if you are looking for something to deveop, try Ben Wah Balls. They should come with instructions, just don't put them in the microwave... erm let me know how you make out with this. Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud p.s. If you need help figuring out the instructions for the Ben Wah balls, make an after hours appointment. |
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