| Dear Dr. Fraud ~ I'm so embarassed to write this, but I hope you can help. Every night I masturbate for hours and hours. Its costing me a fortune in batteries and I never seem to get any sleep. Can you help me? p.j. | | Dear PJ, Hours and hours? My poor dear. You must be doing something wrong. Perhaps you need a coach? Someone to cheer you on and help you with technique. Someone who would be willing to step up to the plate, in helping you get the desired results. If you can not find a suitable helper, video your efforts and I'll take a look at it. I might have a few suggestions, to help make this a less exhausting activity. Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud p.s. tuesdays and thursdays are my bowling nights, but in the interest of finding a satisfactory treatment... feel free to call me. (what kind of wine do you prefer?)  | webman | Sent: 5/25/2005 7:22 PM | | Dr. Fraud, I've been having the same dream for the past week. My lady and I are at the park and we're just enjoying the weather. Suddenly she looks at me and says, "I rather smoke a cigar", then walks away...WTF? .................................  Dear Webman, Your dream self is trying to tell you something, about the lady in your dreams. Since the message isn't getting thru, let me see if I can help. We will begin with a word association technique. It works like this... Here is a list of words...say out loud, the first thing that pops into your mind. 1.) White 2.) Owl 3.) Blue Dress Anything? 4.) Oval 5.) Intern Nothing yet?... Hmmm... 6.) Dna 7.) Oh Shit! This should have put things into perspective for you... Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud p.s... your first name isn't Bill, is it?  | Dear Dr Fraud I have developed this unhealthy or healthy...not too sure which...attachment to a device I lovingly nicknamed BOB. BOB gives me much enjoyment and pleasure and always leaves me with a smile on my face. Should I be exclusive with BOB or should I invite "his" cousins for a visit??? Vibrating with excitement Dianne Dear Dianne, Family reunions can be a lot of fun. Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud p.s. Have a fairly large family, myself. Perhaps we could hold our reunions jointly. | | Dear Doc, I'm in one of those lazy moods. I'm too lazy to even put on decent clothes just to walk outside to get the mail at the end of the driveway! I'm too late to reach over and pick up a phone. Heck, I didn't even go to school today just because I was lazy to put on clothes! How can I get over this laziness that I have? lol Dear Nawty, I personally do not see this as a problem for a woman. Unless somebody from the PTA (parent, teacher's association) stops by, who is going to complain. Forget about making yourself get dressed. Have some fun with this. Call a plumber and tell him your pipes need cleaning. Call an electrician and tel him you smell something burning. Call pizza delivery and invite them in for lunch. If all else fails, open the yellow pages and let your fingers do the walking... Sincerely, Dr. Seymon Fraud p.s. if you have problems looking up a number call me. I am always glad to help a friend | Return to Index Return to Front Page | | | | | | |
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