~ Dear Ones ~ Much has happened lately Right now I feel my age yet I fight this internally. Advice is plenty as to the why. My body gives warnings, to slow down. Yet I want and need to do so much. Abusing the body, oh we all do it in one way or another. Priorities change yet stay the same. We all yearn for certain things, noone can deny it. </P.>For years I've searched for inner peace. Yet again and again I seem to choose turmoil in my search to remember Love and Peace. Knowing I can reach it yet pushing it further away by the choices I make. Love - ever present inside me.. to such extent that people judge me for it. "How can you love "her" or "him" "Don't take it in" or "Don't take it on" "Don't believe all you hear and see" "Be a bitch if someone pisses you off" "Why Bother" "Why are you so naive and trust so easily" "How would you know how I feel" Many things thrown at me. Oh I get angry too, I get hurt, I get sad about what people say and / or do like anybody else. I've had money, I've been poor, I've been deceived many times, have wanted to give up and curl up in a corner enough times. YET - STILL I HOPE, STILL I LOVE ! My children - my blessings - I chose to have them and will defend them with my life no matter what they do or say! They will grow up with values I taught them, yet I cannot make them use those, just can hope that in a "small" way I have contributed to their becoming responsible, caring, loving people in their own right.   Loving my children is closest to "UNCONDITIONAL" as a mother can find! When falling In Love, I've given my "all" or as much of the "all I am" in my conscious knowing. Always believed that giving Love or emanating Love, the Love from within will always do "GOOD", and sometimes, just sometimes it comes back! Constantly there is a learning - by looking, feeling, sensing, being and the wanting to "see" truth through Love, even if it hurts. Through experiences in Life I learnt hard lessons. I carried much sadness, confusion, anger, repressed emotions and feelings which I did not show for "fear" of upsetting others! I have learnt to "let go" of certain "past" issues, but it took me 14 years so far.. And still I am learning! All experiences are nevertheless things I chose to experience so that I may learn to remember "Who I Really Am". Am told I am stupid to love, because I get hurt in the process. I truly believe that those that look for hurting others are really hurting themselves, and inflicting pain on others just "temporarily" makes them believe that they are "indeed" NOT hurting. But eventually they realise and have to face up to their own issues of why! Sacred Internal Flame - has a large part of my heart and therefore my Love. I realised I have connected with people on a level far removed from the physical. There are wonderful, kind, loving, caring people out there that far outweigh those "trouble makers" and even those souls are searching for TRUTH! We are able to "look" and see the soul of a person through our room and our interaction with each other. People can say what they feel, sense or just think about any topic imaginable. It all comes down to being able to "trust" another enough to open "up" that which we would normally hide! I choose to be there for those in need for perhaps just venting, or just a chat, or being silly even, so we can forget our worries - if but for a moment. It really doesn't matter what we look like, or what we do for a living, or whether we are what society would describe as "good" or "bad". We really are that which we are and we will be that which we aspire to be. It takes only Love. And With Love comes trust, honesty, warmth, caring, faith, wanting to "be there" or just wishing one could give a hug to another! It just IS!!!! In Sacred Internal Flame we can take the blinkers off and just "be" whichever way we feel at a particular moment.. if we choose to do so! We all can "judge" behaviours of others, but in truth it does not matter, perhaps for people's truths are theirs and therefore right for them ! That does not mean we have to "agree" or "live by" their truths, just really means we are all such special individuals, throw LOVE into that and we really are all ONE ! With Love and Light © LadySpiritAngelFire 2002