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| | From:  withernomore (Original Message) | Sent: 14/07/2008 2:46 a.m. |
I have been a huge Alanis fan since I begged for permission in high school to skip school to go out of town to see her in concert with friends back when her first big US album came out. If you listen to her music and really hear the lyrics, you realize she has been where we have. She has been in a relationship or relationships with a N(s) and abuser(s). She has FOO issues involving her parents and the conditional love they gave her. She has struggled with perfectionism, over-giving, and other co-dependent behaviors and she is very self-aware about it. I encourage you Alanis fans to 're-discover' her work and anyone else interested to check her out. What follows is a list of issues and the Alanis song that they appear in, so you can go to youtube and start where you want if you are so inclined. It is also helpful to look up the lyrics to some of these as some are hard to hear completely, and they are terribly powerful. - Existential cofusion/anger/angst ("All I Really Want")
- Perfectionism, conditional parental love ("Perfect")
- Rescuing, fixing other people ("Not the Doctor")
- Relationship with an unappreciative user ("Right Thru U")
- Break-up anger at ex and OW ("You Oughta Know")
- Relationship with someone N or N-like ("Wake Up")
- Recovery from co-dependency/ gratitude from self-acceptance ("Thank-you")
- Striving for self-acceptance ("That I Would Be Good")
- Reflecting on her codependent behavior in a relationship ("Are you still mad?")
- Relationship w/ a physical/verbal/emotional abuser ("Sympathetic Character")
- Searching for inner peace ("Would Not Come")
- Coming to terms with past relationships ("Unsent")
- Unresolved FOO issues with mother ("Heart of the House")
- Adult aftermath of parental approval seeking in childhood ("Your Congratulations")
- Alanis' powerful message to a suicidal friend--We are more than our problems ("Joining You")
- Defining what she wants in a significant other ("21 Things I want in a Lover")
- A relationship with an N ("Narcissus")
- Still being affected by an ex years later ("Flinch")
- Looking outside instead of inside herself for self-esteem ("So Unsexy")
- Self-defeating lies we believe and hold on to ("Precious Illusions")
- Deciding to end a relationship for her own good in spite of her pain in doing so ("That Particular Time")
- Being too giving, feeling compelled to always give to her own detriment ("You Owe me Nothing in Return" & "Offer" & "Spineless")
- Molding and changing herself for a man ("Bent 4 You")
- Being stuck in the process of change, fearing happiness ("Fear of Bliss")
- Using a relationship for distraction and escape ("Purgatorying")
- Escaping from toxic parenting ("Unprodigal Daughter")
- Letting go of an idealized lover and a relationship she had high expectations for ("Simple Together")
- About reciprocity and teamwork in relationships ("Out is Through")
- Barriers to asking for help or helping ourselves ("Excuses")
- Denying her own needs and feelings in relationships ("Doth I Protest Too Much")
- Refusing to take all the blame in a relationship ("Not All Me")
- Longing to be free of perfectionism and self-control ("So-called Chaos")
- Holding on/letting go of a grudge ("This Grudge")
- Being loved and accepted for everything she is in relationships ("Everything")
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Oh some of my favorites.... Alanis Morissette - Ironic Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket Alanis Morissette - Uninvited DA WOMAN ROCKS....SHE CAN WRITE A SONG!! |
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I love most all her songs. Got me through allota bad stuff. I recently added most every song from her "Jagged Little Pill" album, to my ipod.  NMW |
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I read an interview with her that she did for Advocate magazine. She admits to being a recovering 'love addict' and 'co-dependent.' It comes through in her music. I think she's beautiful also--have always wanted her long, long hair....mine won't grow that long and trust me, I've tried...  |
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Hey Wither, Mine is that long - same color - not as wavy. I freaked when I saw the video where she cut her hair! Long hair isn't great - its hot as heck in the summer, A pain too wash & care for. I inherited my dads dumbo ears - so I keep my hair long. nmw |
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She recently came out with a new CD. I've listened to some of the tracks from it online. There's a great one called "Straightjacket". Definitely another one about being with an N or an N-like person. She even indirectly refers to concepts like projection, manipulation, and gaslighting. Posting lyrics and youtube linky below: Straitjacket lyrics
Something so benign for me construed as cruelty
Such a difference between who I am and who you see PS: NMW--My hair is also the same color, but I dye it. Just can't get it long enough. It won't grow past mid-back for me! Oh well...
Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect
I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fucking disrespect
This shit’s making me crazy
The way you nullify what’s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that’s not what you did
Your way’s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won’t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket
Talking with you’s like talking to a sive that can’t hear me
You fight me tooth and nail to disavow what’s happening
Your resistance to a mirror I feel screaming from your body
One day I’ll introduce myself and you’ll see you’ve not yet met me
This shit’s making me crazy
The way you nullify what’s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that’s not what you did
Your way’s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won’t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket
Grand dissonance
The strings of my puppet are cut
The end of an era
Your discrediting’s lost my consent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cQa4CqqzC4
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I like her music too and agree on the healing thing. I recently bought a "Duffy" CD. She must have dated an N too. I highly recommend it. |
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HA! OMG- how odd... Am- Mum heard 'Warwick Avenue' and decided to get the album. Hasn't left the CD player in the car once..... she said the same thing about her going through it with an n.....  I think Alanis Morrisette is pretty deep and real, and it does ring true- but I've been into metal for years now- TBH not heard anything from her for ages! listening to loads of Metallica- and I think 'The Unforgiven' portrays a 'cult of the narcissist' and it's effects to a t.... makes me cry though   XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX |
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I absolutely love her songs! It's unbelievable how many of her songs I can relate to...just hits right at home, you know? In fact, I've got one of her songs featuring on my MySpace page. Guess it's just the "place" I'm in right now...but I very much appreciate the candid expression in her songs. ~Resist~ |
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Which song resisting? I like them all (except perhaps one that is a little too lovey at this stage). Okay....so I have been listening to her every night b/c everything else does not work.....time for an Alanis Morissette CD. I had her tape.....don't have a tape player and doubt I would find it. Which do you recommend? |
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Hi Amorable... Right now I've got "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover" playing. I picked that one because she's basically saying...take me as I am. She talks about how she's many things and she feels no shame for it. Sort of a "self acceptance" type of song. And really, when you've been involved with a N who constantly chips away at your self-esteem and assures you every opportunity he/she gets that you are indeed inadequate in every form of you life, you feel the great need to reclaim yourself and to embrace what and who you are. That's why I chose this song. Of course, I was tempted to pick "You Outta Know" because of the cheating he's done in the past. "Hand in my Pocket" is a great one. It's basically telling you that despite it all, things WILL work out in the end. That no matter what life throws at you, you'll make it. I also like "Isn't it Ironic" because it reminds us that bad things happen to us all in life and we must endure. There are SO many good songs she puts out...I could list many more. A woman after my own heart...  ~Resist~ |
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I love Alanis and the passion she sings with. Her song You Oughta Know gets me everytime I hear it. Giving your all to someone only to be thrown away. |
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| | | From: aegiss1 | Sent: 22/09/2008 7:01 a.m. |
... every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it... Nuff. Said. =) ~aegiss |
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| | | From: aegiss1 | Sent: 22/09/2008 7:03 a.m. |
she's right up there with ani difranco, Anyone who hasn't heard 'not a pretty girl' really should=) Not a Pretty Girl - ani difranco Lyrics:
I am not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain’t no damsel in distess
And I don’t need to be rescued
So put me down punk
Maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair
Isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
I am not an angry girl
But it seems like I’ve got everyone fooled
Every time I say something they find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger
And never to their own fear
And imagine you’re a girl
Just trying to finally come clean
Knowing full well they’d prefer you
Were dirty and smiling
And I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
And I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
And generally my generation
Wouldn’t be caught dead working for the man
And generally I agree with them
Trouble is you gotta have youself an alternate plan
And I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
And I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
And what if there are no damsels in distress
What if I knew that and I called your bluff?
Don’t you think every kitten figures out how to get down
Whether or not you ever show up
I am not a pretty girl
I don’t want to be a pretty girl
No I want to be more than a pretty girl
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