"At first I was intrigued by this group. The vast majority seem to be women who were victims of abusive relationships or cold, distant lovers, or something to the regard of feeling used and mistreated. While I have personally left a few women in my wake, a lot of what I have read is either:
A) Saturated with emotion to the point of ridiculousness. Teenage forums where all complain about the woes of a broken heart or not going to the prom come to mind when comparing the blatant exaggerations and cries for sympathy, pity, and emotional support.
B) Not about actual narcissists. Just because your ex-boyfriend was an asshole who stopped paying attention to you more and more as the relationship progressed, just because he may have been verbally abusive or manipulative, DOES NOT mean he carries a psychopathological disorder around."
"Do you just want to be martyrs?"
If you've suffered pain and heartache and loss because of a relationship with a narcissist, that is YOUR FAULT. By volunteering yourself to be used, easily manipulated, abused, and naively open to the simplest deceptions, you are manifesting your own masochistic desires. Why did a narcissist target you in the first place? This overwhelming tendency to employ the scapegoat for, I have no doubt, troubles in which the victim's flawed self-image and disordered psychology plays as much of a role as the oh so evil devil with NPD.
"The only way psychopaths have to relate to other humans is by manipulation. We don’t have any other mechanisms for communication."
"It becomes easy to understand, once you add on top of that paranoia, psychosis, endless boredom / anger, and a natural feeling of entitlement to anything at any time (maybe even a little sadism), why these relationships fail. They were doomed from the start."
One of my primary sources of narcissitic supply is to be thought of as a saint.
"I don't get this "I want to call the abuser' stuff. Are you women all addicted to relationship drama?
"Help, my N contacted me by email and I'm freaking out" - when I read that I knew I had landed right in the middle of dysfunction junction."
"I can’t comment on what will be enough to have a specific person leave you alone. I can comment on what his motivation might be in continuing to contact you, assuming he is a psychopath. He might be after something you provide, such as money, sex, comfort/normalcy, a fear or fight fix. You might be considered part of who he is. He has absorbed part of your personality by mirroring and he wants to continue or have that back."
"I usually "spin" most of my playmates and leave during the disorientation."
"Complete ambivalence and no contact is the key to ridding yourself of a psychopath."
"Psychopaths are natural masters of body language and nuance as it is a survival skill."
"As surely as this day will turn into night cons will find gullible people and needy dependent people will be targeted by narcissists."
"I've always had anger as long as I can remember. I'm thinking it is the one emotion it seems I can really FEEL."
"I adore a good fight! Not many things will stop me from causing strife wherever I go. I have to have a pretty good reason not to start disassembling social structures."
"I am constantly looking for ways to improve my image and make people like me or admire me. I have boasted of things that I haven't done, like my skill at playing a particular instrument and have had my lies exposed and I hated the person for it."
"If she begins to show weakness, such as eventually seeking our guidance or not maintaining discipline and surety of purpose, we begin to despise. We seek to give in a relationship, but we cannot give love, compassion, or empathy. We seek to give what we have."
"Co-dependant people are attracted to us because we provide a complete immersion of attention and focus. But co-dependant people are not inherently strong enough of personality. The experiment fails and we begin to despise."
"My advice is simple: Avoid him long enough for him to get bored and he will go away."
"In the beginning, what people are attracted to in psychopaths is they seem to know what you want, what you need, what makes you laugh, and feel good. They are mirroring what is inside you back at you, and throwing in what they’ve learned. In return, they absorb part of who you are psychologically. They become what you want as much as they can. The relationship feels good because it seems you’ve found your soul mate."
"The repeated references to narcissists lacking emotion and being unable to love others seems straight out of the typewriter of proselytising evangelists who couldn't made a sentence without relying on either a misconception, an exaggeration, an outright lie, or, as here, irrational generalisations. Did you study your manual? Do you have it all memorised so you can strike out at your proverbial abuser with incomplete medical information and a malicious lack of understanding? At least I've never accused someone of being less-than-human. I just proclaim myself as greater-than-human. Heh."
"If he’s not out to get something else from you (sex, money, whatever), but is after a “relationship�? then the following is what happens in my experience: For a brief while, the psychopath “feels�?something. He can fool himself into being the very thing that he longs for so dearly: normal."
"When you’re gone, though, his patterns begin to slip. They begin to fade as any memory does. Remember that he can’t hang his memories on anything because there is no core to hang them on. To him, you’ve got part of him walking around in you. He wants that back. If someone had taken a part of who you are, what would you go through to have it again?" I know what is happening, but I still can’t stop it from slipping away right through my fingers."
"It doesn't bother me in the least if people are angry. I believe I rather enjoy it. I'm thinking since I can't have love, might as well have hate."
"Co-dependent people are the closest thing to normal and they can only maintain relationships for short periods of time."
"From my point of view a boundary is: “Either don’t do this or I will do this unpleasant thing to you�?and “if you do this, I will do this nice thing for you�?
"A psychopath will push you to find out how concrete those boundaries are. Willpower and discipline must be maintained in order to keep the psychopath in line until a natural order is established and a direction given (if the psychopath wants a relationship)."
"As an N, I also memorize other people's emotions. It's the easiest way to seem human because I have no idea how to feel them myself!! I'd be very easy to spot if I didn't know how to pretend to have emotions like everyone else."
"I was astonishingly intelligent for my age, and for as long as I can remember I was capable of certain penetrating insights into other people. But I felt nothing. I knew that we were “supposed�?to act happy on Christmas morning, sad when a pet died, numb and glum when someone in my girl scout troop hadn’t heard from her father after his plane was reported to have crashed. I observed and, when I felt like it, mirrored the facial expressions and body language and rhetoric that went with these things, but all I really felt about it was exasperation and contempt: come on, why do we have to put on ANOTHER ONE of these charades? Enough is enough.
I remember peeling the skin off a live baby rabbit that I’d unearthed in the woods behind our house. I remember being briefly fascinated watching this little piece of bloody meat try to scream. *Why doesn’t it realize that it’s going to die?* I remember getting bored and leaving it there, and washing my hands before dinner. I was still in elementary school then �?maybe seven or eight years old.
My mother had masters degrees in early childhood education and psychology and is probably one of the most patient, loving, selfless people in the world. I can recall her eyes brimming with tears as she pleaded with me to realize that other peoples�?feelings and welfare, including her own, mattered. I remember standing there, impervious, with a snide running commentary in my head. I wasn’t friendless. I found a number of friends with whom I could be quite candid about what drove me and what didn’t. They knew I didn’t care for them, but they hung out with me because I was witty, charismatic, spontaneous and fun. Likewise, I grew attached to them, in my own way �?I enjoyed their sense of humor, their banter, enjoyed having something to do on the weekends. When two of them were falsely accused by the principal of executing a prank for which I was in fact wholly responsible, though, I had no inclination to save them. I threatened them ominously to ensure their silence. Ultimately I pressured another “subordinate�?friend (a follower, really -- I had many of these) into taking the fall.
I hate to be frustated. women and their behavior are often a source of frustration. I haven't yet met one that didn't want more than i was prepared to give. Guy friends are easy. My guy friends don't try to analyze me, they don't take it personally if i'm not feeling very social. They don't mind my lack of attentiveness. Most importantly, they aren't trying to get me in bed or ensnare me. I'm fine w/women when they keep their distance, and sometimes i don't mind being a sounding board, but, ideally, I just want to be admired from afar. Women have trouble doing that.
I loved roller coasters, cocaine, and driving on the highway with my eyes closed. I manipulated, to hilarious ends, the shrinks that my parents took me to. Most people were afraid of me. I was disgusted by most people but content with myself. Oh and that whole thing about “weird, striking eyes�?�?I had that too. Some artist stopped me on the street one day and asked if he could take a close-up photo of my eyes for an installation he was doing. The eyes were pretty awesome and they still are.
By the time I was a teenager, I was engaging in exploits that would cause me to be labeled a lying attention whore if I chronicled them here. Suffice it to say that I definitely excelled at manipulating people, and that as I developed certain persuasive skills �?becoming a nationally ranked public speaker, for example �?I was able to play “games�?of increasing breadth and scale. I didn’t torture animals or engage in simple acts of brute sadism anymore. I found it much more satisfying own and dominate *people*."
Interesting Quotes from the Serial Killer Dexter TV series
