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Does a Narcissist admit when he is wrong?

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."
Stephen Biko



We work to try to understand the essence of the narcissist. When I was trying to explain the N to a friend, she understood an N as someone not "able to face the pain of imagining they did something wrong". I wasn't sure about this so did a quick internet search on narcissists and admitting wrong and accepting fault, and got these quotes:

The narcissist often notices that something is wrong with him and with his life -- but he never admits it.

... the narcissist is incapable of admitting that something is wrong with HIM

They will never admit fault, they will never say they are sorry. If something goes wrong, they will play the victim. They will blame others.

Remember they will never admit they are wrong, they will never debase themselves with an apology. They will never laugh at themselves.

"[I suspect my husband is a narcissist]. Last night we got into an argument over our daughters homework and he was absolutely livid because he was wrong and he knew he was wrong but could not admit it. He try's to place blame on anyone and everyone but himself."

Narcissists adores themselves. They live for them, they think they can do no wrong and will not admit to wrongdoing [re: traits common to 6 year olds and adult narcissists]

[For the narcissist] to admit to one failing, to acknowledge a mistake, even a simple human error of judgement, would be to open the door to the deep internal lack within. ... Such feelings of worthlessness are like an ocean being held back by a fragile dyke. The illusion of perfection, maintained by projecting faults onto someone else, is a barrier to be constantly tended, mended and shored up. To admit any feelings of deficiency would be the equivalent of poking a hole in the dyke, an event to be feared as a total disaster.

Narcissists blame all problems on the "all-bad." It's never the narcissist's fault; it's always someone else's.

The last paragraph speaks truly from a narcissist's perspective. It's the victim's fault.

If the two of you have a conflict, he'll tweak the facts as much as he has to to make it all your fault.

His perverse way of turning everything into my fault and his blaming left me battered and exhausted.

Narcissists who were children of entitlement:
Externalization of Blame -- The child cannot allow the bad feelings of being at fault for anything. He/she/they/YOU are the problem! He avoids feeling vulnerable by blaming others. The fragile self esteem cannot be punctured by taking responsibility for behavior. His script is "Do not expose me to those intolerable feelings inside. I can't handle it."

Since the false self is grandiose and perfect, relationship problems are
never the fault of the narcissist.

For making a change (whether great or small) implies that the narcissist has been two things they "cannot stand": imperfect (something is actually wrong with "them") and at fault ("they" actually were wrong, weak, or inferior somehow).

It can't be HIS fault - he is perfect.

The narcissist says in effect, "Something doesn't feel right. I'm too special to be the cause, therefore it must be your fault."

Posted by Paul 1/13/2003 (used by permission)


Suggested Additional Reading:
Is The Narcissist Ever Sorry? FAQ 14 by Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq14.html

Listen attentively to everything the narcissist says and agree with it all. Don't believe a word of it but let it slide as if everything is just fine, business as usual.
Coping with Your Abuser by Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html


We have used the male gender, your narcissist may be female.

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