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An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met: 1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.) 2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion 3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions) 4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply) 5. Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. 6. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends 7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others 8. Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her 9. Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted Some of the language in the criteria above is based on or summarized from: American Psychiatric Association. (1994). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fourth edition (DSM IV). Washington, DC American Psychiatric Association. The text in italics is based on: Sam Vaknin - Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited. For the exact language of the DSM IV criteria (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) - please refer to the manual itself.
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IS YOUR PARTNER A NARCISSIST?
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DSMV CRITERIA 301.81(NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER)
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narcissisticpd.htm Narcissistic Personality Disorder at a Glance
http://samvak.tripod.com/npdglance.html Most narcissists (75%) are men. NPD is one of a "family" of personality disorders (formerly known as "Cluster B"). Other members: Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD. NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity") - or with substance abuse, or impulsive and reckless behaviours ("dual diagnosis"). NPD is new (1980) mental health category in the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM). There is only scant research regarding narcissism. But what there is has not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to NPD. "As a psychiatrist was once heard saying “Ns are the bread and butter of the therapeutic enterprise, not because they so often seek professional help—they are too impressed with themselves to ever think they have a problem—but because they drive so many people around them crazy.�?BR>Echo No Longer; The Recovery Process of the Partner of the Person Suffering from a Narcissistically Impaired Personality. Mary Ann Borg Cunen, M.A. Counselling Psychology (Baltimore, U.S.A.) October 2002
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Loving the Self Absorbed - How to Create a More Satisfying Relationshp with a Narcissistic Partner
by Nina W. Brown, EdD LPC NCC If you are convinced, or feel reasonably certain that you are in a relationship with a destructive narcissist, you may be tempted to do all or any of the following
Tell your partner that he or she is a destructive narcissist.
Confront your partner about their behavior and attitudes.
Leave this book where you partner can see it with the hope that they will read it and see what they are doing.
Give your partner the book and tell them to read it, since it’s about them.
Do not do any of the above, or anything similar. Here is why these acts are not helpful. Persons with a destructive narcissist pattern cannot see the behaviors and attitudes they exhibit as you and others perceive them. They are unaware of the impact on you, and are well defended against knowing. Further, your attempts to make them aware or get through to them will fail, and will be perceived as threats to their core essential self. This will bring out their defenses for protection. The defenses are likely to be hostile, aggressive, strong and immediately available to them, so that they are able to attack and mount a strong counteroffensive in a nanosecond. You generally do not win or make any headway, and can find yourself in a worse position than before.
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