| No Contact Management
No Contact - TheRight Way/The Wrong Way
http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm
Settle all critical business before you begin no-contact.(if you have children - decide via YOUR LAWYER how contact between the parent & child will take place and visitation. Do NOT engage in any conversations with the other parent aside from BUSINESS ONLY!!) This means business only... no personal exchanges
NO CONTACT CONTRACT
1. To keep my sanity and end this relationship, I must maintain NO CONTACT.
2. No contact includes every single form of contact with him/her..
2a. This also includes...do NOT ask friends/family about him/her and do NOT let friends/family tell you about him/her.
3. I will not email him/her.
4. I will not call him/her.
5. I will not send him/her letters, cards for any occasion or notes of any kind.
6. I will not text message, two way, fax or page him/her.
7. If he/she calls me, I will hang up immediately, or not answer the phone at all.
8. If he/she leaves a voice mail or answering machine messages, I will delete it without listening to it. (Anything he/she says is done to draw me back into the insanity.)
9. If he/she emails me, I will delete the message without reading it or answering it.
10. If he/she mails me a card, letter or note of any kind, I will throw it into the garbage can without opening it or reading it.
11. If he/she two-ways me, text messages or pages me, I will delete the message or the phone number and not listen to the message or return his/her call.
12. I will replace any hopeful reunion fantasy with a Clear Memory of a time that I was insulted, manipulated, belittled, made me cry, used my children, friends or family to demean me, embarassed me in front of co-workers, family or friends or used sex or love as a way to intentionally hurt me.
13. If I feel like I am about to reach for the phone to call him/her, write, email, page, fax or text message him/her, I will count to ten and clealy ask myself silently, why am I doing this?
14. If friends and family are not supportive of my efforts to remove myself from this relationship, I will not discuss my personal life with them and will ask them sternly not to offer their opinions. My decisions about this are my own. This is My Battle.
15. If I find that the urge to speak to him/her or see him/her has overwhelmed me and I slip off the course, I promise to be kind to myself and patient with the situation.
16. I promise to be good to myself, forgive myself and allow myself to move on and not dwell on this for ever.
17. I will stop creating chaos in my mind & environment.
18. I will accept reality - The facts.
19. I will accept others for who they are.
20. My hands are off others responsibilities: I will tend to my own, focus on me.
21. I will refuse to believe any lies about how wonderful his/her life is now. Basing the truth on the past, I will assume him/her to be lying.
22. I will distrust every time he/she has a "change of heart"
23. I will journal all my positive and negative feelings.
24. I must accept my own responsibility in this relationship.
25. I will strive to find what it was that he/she invoked in me that created MY behavior.
26. We must love ourselves.
27. Take time off before beginning a new relationship. At LEAST a year.
28. Find out what we need in a relationship, and go after that in a person that is worthy and has GENUINE substance, morals, and ethics.
Accept nothing less for yourself. |
