Love him. Love.him. love him and love him and give him his space and chance to find out hey, if I do this I'm not going to get beat and yelled at.

 

I took the N's cat who was EXACTLY like your baby. Don't go towards him quickly, let him know it's ok to do some things like jump on the sofa or bed things that often got him in trouble.

 

But most of all LOVE.

 

Joonzie is a very happy little girl now. We call her princess. If someone sits down forget it, your lap is going to be taken!

 

Good luck! It's hard, but it's doable because these are the only creatures capable of unconditional love. They'll come back to us.

This is a pity. 

 

As WindSong has said:  Love, love, love. 

 

I often think of the song that Karen Carpenter sang -- Bless The Beasts And The Children.  

 

 

GN

Awww... thanks Windy and JTV! Thank you for the advice.

 

Davey is beautiful- I love him so much, he is my baby boy. As I said he has seen alot of abuse- he jumps and cowers- and overplays submissive- but for the past two days the other jacks have had him cowering in the rose bushes in the front garden. It's so sad. I just pick him up and put him in the house. We watch the other dogs and correct their behaviour when we see it- the 'top dog' is being funny with him, not letting him near the back door- the other one gives him looks and bites him (not hard) when he gets out of the corner. We saw this and stopped them, and at the moment are not leaving the little one alone with them. Got a feeling it's something to do with the 'hierarchy' and it'll just have to be monitored and corrected.

 

Apart from that, he is quite a happy boy- we walk for hours across the fields (we live out in the country) and he loves running about and sniffing out rabbits and playing with the other dogs!

 

I will love him and hug him so much- it's not hard when he has a face like his- he's gorgeous, so handsome! I love him.....

 

Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxx

Kyra,

I am sorry to hear about the abuse to your pet. I have rescused some abused animals and the answer, as others have stated, is TLC. Please keep us updated.

 

This post reminded me of something from my first time with xN that I think I tried to block mentally. When we moved in together, he could not handle my aggressive cat. This cat had been abused and just needed some affection as he was fine with me. I came home one day to discover that xN had taken him to the shelter to put him down b/c he was worried about when his kids visited. He probably just dumped him on the side of the road which would have frightened him even more. GOSH.......forgot how much this affected me......

 

Sorry for taking a birdwalk. Really just wanted to give you my support here as you have been so kind to everyone. Like I said, please keep us updated.

 

Sending you and Davey hugs,

AM

In the last few years of the r/s my dogs became terrified of him when they knew he was drunk and raging.  All it took was the car pulling into the driveway with the music blasting and they would run for cover and hide.

 

Once he was gone, and things returned to normalcy the dogs all starting calming down.

 

One of the things I find that helps that most is theraputic massage.

Either get on the floor with your dog or place them in your lap, start with gently rubbing and stroking their ears, head, muzzle, down their neck and back.  Stroke down their legs.  Lie them on their side and stroke their stomach and chest and groin area & side, then turn them over and repeat.  You can also place your hands on either side of their ribcage and do deep breathing exercises.  Think of something exptremely pleasant and see if you can get your dog or cat to start slowing their breathing and match it to yours.

 

I'm also a firm believer in clicker training ( positive reinforcement) operant conditioning.  Training sessions that are very fun and positive, shaping behaviors and tricks.  For more information see www.clickertraining.com  - you can clicker train both dogs and cats.

 

Here's to happy pets!

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Kyra.  I inherited (for lack of a better word) my XNHs dog when he became ill. The N died and the dog stayed with me. The N had given him a lot of bad habit and it has taken nearly a year, but now that dog is a sweetie who is affection, behaves better to command words, seeks my approval and responds to hand commands.

 

My advice is to be fair, consistent and affectionate ad nauseum. Time heals everyone, dog included. My dog was naughty at times too, but very trainable. I hope that the 'bad' influence is out of your life and the dog's too.

 

 

Femfree and Kyra

 

I also inherited the N/Ps cat, which was dumped on my doorstep, and also wanted to mention about, the amount of patience that is needed with these animals too, with regards to them getting their trust in their owners.........and would imagine cats are similar to dogs with this too.

 

x

Thank you all so much for your advice.

 

He has good days and bad. What we are struggling with is this- he has really had the scare put into him- and the love comes easily- but he is scared to death of anger, and doesn't respond to discipline. It's a fine line, really. He always seems to be saying when it comes to discipline- "I don't care what you say, I am going to do it anyway."

Mum kind of thinks he is write off, but I totally don't believe that, I think he can come through this. I really do. I'm not giving up on him.

Apart from the discipline problems, he is lovely little dog.

I think mum is angry this morning because she took him for a walk while I stayed home, and he played her up. When I go out with her on these walks with the other dogs, he does act up, but when I take him on my own- he is perfect, comes when I call, walks well on the lead, and doesn't chase anything that isn't supposed to be chased (for example- newborn calves- yes, incident today- NAUGHTY BOY!!!) So, I suppose, the answer is to take him on his own, with just me.

I don't know what to do with the rest of it yet. I'll just keep working on it.

He's a clever boy, he will get it in time. And he will heal, won't he?

 

Again, thank you all so much for your advice, I really appreciate it, and have been heeding. Just got to find some middle ground....

 

Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx