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(1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 3 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknamehisvictim  (Original Message)Sent: 19/09/2008 4:28 p.m.
The physical and mental pain is unbearable.  I have already taken one clonopin so I'm not sure how much sense this will make; however the chest pain has still not gone away.  I would have never guessed there are so many of us out there.  I need help.  I can't break away.  He keeps me hanging on by a thread, but a thread that he totally controls.  He'll call randomly to ask me to come over usually on a week night because God forbid he give up one of his weekend days/nights when he's out playing Mr. Bigshot and being hooked up with other women.  He won't take me out in public because it might ruin his reputation.  Someone might actually think he is seeing me again.  I feel like his dirty little secret that only comes over in the dark of night.  He was supposed to call yesterday but didn't.  Now I'm facing the weekend alone and depressed knowing that he is out (with whomever) being the big man having the time of his life.  I'll be home with chest pain in a deep hole of depression wishing and waiting that he would actually call me.  It's all on his terms.  I wish I could break away, but I'm not strong enough.  He MADE me love him then he kicked me to the curb.  No one may read this.  No one may reply.  I needed to vent because I'm sure what few friends I do have are sick of hearing me.  I'm just not sure I can make it through the day...........  If I didn't have kids and bills and everything else, I swear I need to check into a stress center.  Here's to a painful, wasted, waiting weekend.


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Reply
 Message 2 of 3 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN NicknameAnnieashley1Sent: 19/09/2008 7:13 p.m.
Hey HisVictim--
I'm glad you are trying to break free. It sure hurts, huh? I am really sorry that you are in so much pain.
I don't know what stage in the grieving process you are acatually at but it sounds to me as if you feel really exhausted. It's hard to stand up for ourselves and do what we know we have to do--not want to do--HAVE to do when you are so worn down.
 
Different things work for different people. Do you have the energy to get out of the house and do something--anything to get your mind off of N for a little while. Any distraction. Some people go to COSA meetings. If your area doesn't have them ALANON might be a good alternative. Even though it is for people who have an alchoholic in their life it works for almost anyone trying to cope with someone who is poison. You may feel too depressed to leave the house, but if you can make yourself...just for an hour...it might help. Go to the bookstore and get one of the books that are mentioned on this forum.--Right now, you are right , he is controling you. Not having any control of your life will not only lead to heart ache, PTSD and depression but hopelessness. The more control you take the better you will feel--and you already doing that by coming on here and posting. Good for You!
You probably already know all of this. I am sorry you are hurting--I hope you feel better soon! Are you trying No contact yet?
Blessings,
Annie

Reply
 Message 3 of 3 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nickname-amorable21-Sent: 19/09/2008 7:18 p.m.
Hisvictim-
I am sorry you are going thru this. Please read as much about Ns as you can to the left. You do not need to be his victim if you choose not to be. FIrst of all, you need to quit any contact you have with him and change any means he has of contacting you such as phone numbers and e-mail. Take charge of your life. Once you do that, with time, it does get better. Obsessing over a man can and will take years of your life. Hasn't he already taken enough?! Don't give him anymore.
 
You should post under "general" as more people read and respond there. There are some wonderful people on this site who have been where you are at and got out. We are here to offer support.
 
I wish you the best. PLEASE take care of you.
 
Hugs-
AM

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