NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY

Hi,
Its official; I have low Self-Esteem and I don't know what to do about it. Counseling, perhaps? Take a class, probably should? Read a book? The list goes on and on.
I am confused, I am not trusting my woman's intuition, I have allowed the situation to worsen by opting passivity rather than head-on facing the problem.
Prior to arriving here today, I was on top. I was smart, confident, funny and attractive. These qualities have begun to diminish because I don't trust myself anymore, I am second-guessing myself too much, I am fearing making the same mistakes again. I allowed this to happen. Why do I write this?, because I did. I knew and saw. I felt the pain, the hurt, the embarassment, the uncaring attitude. But I remained. Why you ask? That's exactly what I would like to know!
My interior told me that maturity would change external actions. My interior said that with time and life's experiences evolution would undoutedly occur.
The saddest twist to this story is that I was kind and caring, but not to the appropriate person.
My previouss actions and desire to do the right thing has led me here.
I am stuck, I am not trusting my first instincts, I have become a hermid and most disturbing, I have low self-esteem, which I didn't have before
And for why? Because of jealousy, envy, wanting my life and hoping to destroy my interior.
So, my project now says to find the woman you once were and strengthen her!.

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Message 2 of 5 in Discussion

From:

atemporaryname

Sent: 2/11/2008 1:58 a.m.

akosho, this was good positive post of progress and I wanted you to know i've read it. I;ll answer tonight when my son goes to bed but wanted you to know i was thinking of you and your great new project

~atemp

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Message 3 of 5 in Discussion

Sent: 2/11/2008 2:03 a.m.

This message has been deleted by the author.

Message 4 of 5 in Discussion

From:

-amorable21-

Sent: 2/11/2008 2:40 a.m.

Akosha-

I do not have the answer for you. However, I wanted to send you a hug to let you know that I understand and can relate. You are not alone!

Message 5 of 5 in Discussion

From:

Kitcat08

Sent: 2/11/2008 10:01 a.m.

It'll come. just give it time. When I left, I felt broken, like I would never be able to put me back together again. The first year was the hardest. The more I became assertive and stood up for myself, the more confident I became. It just took some time.

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