I am brand new to the divorce thing with a N.  I lived in hell for 18 years and FINALLY have escaped and am happier than I ever thought possible.  I thought I'd be out of his clutches but I'm seeing how wrong I am.

 

I moved 40 minutes away from NexH for several reasons.  The biggest one being he was popping in on me just whenever he wanted, hanging out with the kids at MY house, etc.  I got divorced from HIM so I wouldn't have to see him, right?

 

He's constantly berating me about moving 40 minutes away and taking his kids away from him, kids that he wants so desperately to "father".  Funny, he never wanted to "father" them when we were all living together but now suddenly he's father of the year!

 

I've been just ignoring his scathing emails since I know from experience that logic is not their best suit; however, I can't help but let what he says CONTINUE to penetrate me. 

 

He thinks I should have stayed within minutes of him so he could be active EVERY day in the kids lives.  I say moving away is just a consequence of divorce.  You don't get divorced and continue to live your life as you did before, just going to another home at night.  Right?  I feel like my head is spinning so much of the time and because I was the perfect candidate to fall in love with a N, my people pleasing, self doubting, un-entitled self allows him to get to me.  What do you do when you KNOW he's full of it but it still makes you question yourself or feel bad about yourself.  My internal dialogue goes something like this....he tells me I'm a selfish, inconsiderate, child stealing mom by moving 40 MINUTES AWAY (we're not talking Alaska here!) and my people pleasing dialogue starts "well maybe I should have found something closer so the boys could see their father every day" "you moved so it would be easier for you".....It drives me absolutely insane!  HELP!