Thank you for the hugs and kind words.  Divorce is so painful, and I had no idea I would be 48 and single.  He has dominated me for 10 years, and it has been a challenge for me to even make simple decisions.  So for me, that I've come this far is a major feat. 

The good news for me is that there are no children involved, and it wasn't a lengthy battle.  I found out about the lying and cheating last October, and this October we are divorced. 

 

You hang in there too.  You're not alone.

Scarlett

Hi ihscarlett,

 

I read your posts; I am sorry that you feel so "sown" but it will get better for you over time. Your job is to BE HAPPY, now.

 

Along my usual sarky line of replies: Do you mean to say that DIVORCES are actually FINALIZED - we've been battling for 2.5 years in court over my guy's S7 - he's acting out, defiant, argumentative, and WANTS TO COME HOME!

 

He's a "behavior problem" at his school; just this week, he got sent home from 'before-school daycare' for saying "I'm going to kill you" to another child, and wasn't allowed to go to school that day. I guess his NPDmom had to take the day off work, or at least some time to pick him up and dump him on her bf (he works nights and sleeps days, when she's at work and both the boys are in school).

 

We now have a date for their settlement conference in Feb. and I've drawn up a short list of what she MUST do to avoid a trial, which will be very damaging to HER, not to my guy or me.

 

The GAL has recommended US as primary custody and WA is a full-custody state, not 50/50, and the Judge is one who tends to follow the GAL's recommendation 99% of the time; so SHE'S going to have to work very hard to complete ALL the listed items PRIOR to the settlement conference.

 

She knows she's "losing" S7 to his father, and basically she just wants out of PAYING child support. In that vein, we will push for everything to be done, BEFORE we consider agreeing to reduced CS - if it's NOT all done, we'll let the Judge decide on FULL support.

 

She's already broached the subject in a round about off-hand way with my guy, saying how her 1st husband, father of the NPD  S13, asked her to send back some of the increased CS she's going after HIM for. [She only told my guy about it in order to pave the way for her wanting the same thing from US.] NAHHHH gonna happen.

 

~FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT~ See your therapist, work on you, and BE HAPPY that the NPDXH is out of your life.

 

 

~BMOGS~