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| | | From: bestgrlever (Original Message) | Sent: 28/10/2008 11:53 p.m. |
I go along, thinking that I am healing - I even went on a great date the other night and really like the guy! Things are going pretty well in my life.
Enter XN and his dysfunction. I posted a little about how he texted me wanting to go for a run and telling me about the movie he and the boys got to watch on friday night. I haven't seen him or talked to him on the phone since July, when I found out about OW.
I've been talking to his exGF because I found out from her that he's having custody issues with his exW and that led me to believe that is why he was contacting me. Then, as exGF and I have talked, I realized something that matches up with something he said and now I'm all sad again!
He told me about a month ago that he has suffered and our breakup was hard for him (it was essentially because he said he wouldn't have any more children, but I don't really believe him on that and i think he said it so I would break up with him and he could date OW) and he wrote something in an email like "I've been the victim of my own lameness and medicine." Because the rest of the email was all about how lonely he was, i figured OW had left him.
I later found out that wasn't true, and then I realized that he was saying that to JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS. Something exGF said today made me think that he meant her.
For some reason it just upset me because I guess after all this time I would like to believe that he didn't leave me for OW, that he did actually care about me somehow, and I kind of just realized anew (not that I didn't know all along) the full impact of that - that he didn't love me and I didn't matter to him and it was all a big lie. It still sucks. |
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The realization that you meant nothing to them is almost beyond comprehension. It's like BusyLiving said, they look human. But he doesn't feel anything for anyone else either. He isn't bemoaning his mistakes with you, or exGF, he's just doing what Ns do best, which is feeling *very* sorry for themselves. It's my guess that whoever he is with now isn't doing a good enough job of giving him the attention he requires, so he's feeling really low and trying to get it - via the 'poor me' ploy - from you or anybody else that will listen.
Yeah, it sucks, but that's what it is. Keep on with YOUR life with him out of it. |
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tough lesson isnt it ? Letting them have any access to you gets
you clobbered one way or the other . NC NC NC
DETACH and go have more lovely dates - you deserve it
Hugs |
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Thanks guys. I'm feeling much better about it today.
I realized yesterday that it was actually XN's birthday last week and I think that was why he sent a flurry of text messages and emails to his exes. Both of us had completely forgotten, which kind of makes me feel good! As sad as that is.... |
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