It's been a long long time since i last posted on here! Some of you may know my story and how hard i was finding it to go NC or to even get on with my life...

 

Well, i have finally cracked it, and it's no walk in the park, but with time and patience (and a few boxes of tissues) i have come out the other end a confident woman. I have been NC (apart from the odd communication via a solicitor) for about 6 months and with each day, the feeling of wanting to talk, email etc fades.

 

My tips for getting through these rough times are -

 

Write down everything you never want from a man again. My first one was 'I will never let a man put me down'. I soon ended up with two pages worth, but i was able to read it over and over, not only once i had spoken to the exN to regain some confidence, but also when meeting new men.

 

Cry, cry, cry! You have probably come out of a awfully emotional relationship with someone who is mentally unwell. You may be batered and bruised. You may have self harmed, or even done things yourself which you are not proud of! Who cares! You are entitled to cry as much as you want, you've been through hell. It isn't a sign of weakness but a sign that you have feelings, a soul. Something the N lacks. Be proud of this!

 

Keep a diary, it's amazing to read back and see how you've changed, or to boost moral on those bad days.

 

Keep on this forum. The people here are amazing and such great help. No-one knows what you're going through better than these guys.

 

And finally look forward. You may break NC, you may go back to the relationship just to be back at square one a few months down the line, but keep looking forward. A baby doesn't learn to walk in a day, and you're making your first steps to being N free, and hopefully happy.