Hi Akosha, I am still struggling a little like you are.  All I can say is that I find each day is slightly better than the day before, although I have some ups and downs.  What I find interesting is writing down my thoughts and worries.  I wrote some down yesterday, and compared them to what I wrote before I found out my x was an N, and the change has been miraculous.  No more blaming myself, thinking it can work etc, now just a lot more sadness and like you, just wanting to get back to being me, and to get on with my life.  Hopefully in another month if I write a list, my thoughts will be very different again.  Don't tell yourself you should be feeling better, it will happen with time as you get used to the big life changes etc.  And also, we loved these Ns, otherwise we wouldn't have stayed with them, and you can't switch off emotions like that, even when you realise there's no hope at all.