Kim,

 

I think all of us here still have that hope (that's tucked very far back in our hearts) that they have changed. That they see their evils ways and truly are our knights in shining armour. This second go around with your XN has sent you reeling because, even for a brief second, the hope that he had changed was there. Even tho we are total NC for months there is still that part of us that still loves these N's. We know they are awful for us....but.....the feelings were so deep that I beleive we hang on to a small part of them.

 

I know this is hard for you. Remember how you did it before. Sometimes it's minute by minute. And then hour by hour. Then it becomes day by day. And one morning you will wake up and not gave one thought about him all day!!

 

Namaste,

Theresa

 

 

 

 

Kim- you sent him the letter right? No, hang on, you phoned him in front of the officer at the police station to tell him it was over- I'm sorry- I can't remember exactly....

So all this is evidence against him, right?

Because he should not be bothering you anymore..... Can you get an RO?

 

 

Kim- I'm not completely sure- but I think I know what is going on with you.

You were really upset at seeing him, and I know that, I know how traumatic it was for you- BUT- are you more upset at yourself that you broke NC and almost got sucked back in? Are you frustrated because you feel like you can't do it?

You have lost faith in yourself and your strength and your ability?

Hon, I know it is so very hard, but Ij ust want you to think about this for a second.

I know you would go back and do it differently. I know that you would have maintained NC.

But the thing is, we can't go back and change what was- we can only change what IS.

I know that this has shaken you to your very core, but Kim, it's what you do now. You can do this. Even though you have started over, think about the five months that you went NC. You did it then, under pretty extreme circumstances, might I add.

DON'T count the 'blip' (because that is what I think it is). You were unprepared.

Think about before. Think about what you did, what you read, and how many people here you have helped yourself, and with your story- YOU CAN DO THIS.

If Periwinkle were here, she would jump right in with me, and the truth is, it's coz we all know you are incredibly strong, Kim- it's a big thing with you.

Don't put too much expectation into it, okay? Just baby steps. Kinda like before. You have had a big confidence knock, honey. But you can get it back.

Remember, we are all here with you.

((((BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGS))))

Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Yo, Kimbo!  Sorry that the N is still trying to hoover you.  After everything it pulled on you, what a jerk! 

 

It takes time, honey, for the fog to clear.  You got a good dose of it when the N showed up again.  Give yourself some internal space.  You were successful in NC before and I know you will be now.  You are very strong.  You are very smart.  You know what to do and it sounds like you are doing it.  The head is going to win over the heart but it will take time, honey, which you know.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Instead treat yourself like royalty for making the very healthy choice of NC.

 

Hugs out to you, Kim.

Boy it took awhile to post. MSN is a pain.

 

Kyra and Peri.

 

Thanks. I am trying....

Dont have much else to say but please keep pushing for me.

 

 

Blind. Thanks.

I read your post many times this morning.

 

Kyra and Peri. I will read your posts many times also.

 

I am grasping now to stay NC.Every day is a challenge.

 

Keep writing.I did it before.I can do it again.

He did not change as much as he appears to have.

 

Blind. - I think I know where you live.  I grew up where George Washington slept. And work close to that area....

I am doing a little better today.

Thought you enjoy his latest email which I did not respond to.

This would be my life should I choose that path.

Since I am not responding to him.

 

I am a flirt.

I am a tease.

I don't communicate at all.

I send mixed messages.

He cannot commit to me because I dont understand him.

I ask too much of him to go out on a Saturday night.

He does not want to talk about the relationship face to face only via email.

He sees no reason why we can't have a threesome with another man. It is not about emotion. It is purely physical release. I should get over that and just deal with however I am feeling about it the next day.

and of course we all know SALAD.

 

 

 

bLIND.

 

Thanks. I am moving this post to the new board.

 

Yes. Actually I am glad he did that. Makes it easier to move on.

 

Thanksfor your strength my friend.

Kim.

Blind

 

I will be itiskimbo

 

George Washington. - he had a famous battle there. also Afred Vail invented the telegraph in this town....