I don't have any answers, Harmony, but I wonder if the reason we seem to attract them is because there are so darned many of them!!!!!   

 

I know what you mean on the spending frenzy.  It gives one a temporary "high" of sorts.  The addict always needs that high. 

 

That was what finally drove me out the door.  I pictured myself -- at age 85 -- cashiering for 8-10 hours at a clip at the Wal-Mart (if I should live that long with the stress he created). 

 

I don't mind helping out.  And I don't mind giving 60% and having my partner give 40%.  We each should give what we can.

 

But this wild spending they go through is just no way to live.  The only future I could see was a bleak one.  Maybe working at the Wal-Mart at age 85 wouldn't be so bad -- if I didn't have to listen to my home phone ring all day long . . .  with bill collectors wanting to know when he was going to make a payment. 

 

"Never." 

 

GN

Hi Harmony. NPD is very commonly found to have components of dual diagnosis - ie drug/alcohol abuse along with it - piggybacked problems. Also, other PDs as well.

 

When you get a whiff of these kinds of severe problems in men like you have described, it's time to exit stage left ASAP.

 

I recommend Co-dependent No More by Melody Beattie. It helped me to see that I put with way too much.