The N thinks my 20-yr-old son (who lives with us, but will soon live only with me) is being unreasonably angry/resentful and thus annoying to be around, because the poor kid just doesn't know how to behave around N...he knows that N has hurt his mother in a deep way, and while he may not understand everything that has gone on in the past 3 years between N and I, he IS resentful to a certain extent---as my son puts it, why would anyone in their right mind kick my mom out?  We have 1 month before our move-out, but in that time, my son is avoiding N, giving him wide berth, and not falling into typical N traps like listening to criticism about ME from N, when I am not around.  N finds that ALL reprehensible, and has said some fairly cruel things about my son to me as a result.  The whole situation angers me. 

 

When N was "in love" with the last gf, of whom he was unduly afraid because she would pick up and leave him, beg her way back to him, then leave him again (in short, treat him just like he treats me, thus it MUST have been true love!), his children were exceptionally resentful of her.  He made and still makes all kinds of excuses for the way HIS kids felt about her, yet he cannot see that my son feels just the same way about him.  And of course no use talking to him about it; his eyes go flat and you know he isn't going to listen. 

 

I know, I know, just more N-behavior, but it really galls me!  My poor son.  I still maintain my son is doing the best he can under the circumstances, by ignoring/shunning the N, but of course he will always be judged by the N as an angry/sullen/non-participating person, when he isn't. 

 

Oh, what do I care in the long run?  The N is the N, he won't change, but why must he make every last second with him so PAINFUL for everyone?