I feel that most people on this forum are of a very soft, kind hearted and pleasing nature. OF course most in society love us as we never dare to speak our minds. I think that our childhoods can explain alot how our anxious attachment to relationships all began. With our parents. Most important being our mother. Unfortunatly, not all grow up feeling unconditionally loved at a young age. Therefore to gain aproval later on in life, people pleasing and over nice behaviours with people compensate to gain approval and love. but it can never be found from outside sources. Like we so need off an overprotecting and over empowering N. Absolute False security with Seft at the most destructive level.
I have found I am on my way to healing just by allowing myself to discover what I felt I lacked in early childhood. Feeling of security and feeling safe and wanted. And not to blame anyone for what happened. You lose your personal power when you do.
The reality is is most families and people are dysfunctional in some way today. The N and the Codependent are I guess a good example of the effects of the feelings of an unlovable childhood in some way. Both are like so drawn together in a desperate attemp to fill there missing peices.
But there comes a time when great change is just around the corner and you will know when that time is. To heal your heart. No one else can do it for you or rescue you like we may have believed in the beginning.
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