OMG, I am so jealous...I can't wait to be 2 yrs. & 5 mts into NC. My stbxnh is dragging the divorce out and making everyone miserable in the process. Supposedly he is moving out before Christmas. He cheated on me after 2 years of marriage, but I made an excuse for him because of a trauma in his late teens, and we worked through it. He cheated again and moved out 8 months after we moved into a new house and we had 2 children 2 & 4; this was 12 years after the first time. He dragged the divorce out then; wanted to reconcile; I made him do 1 year of very good therapy before I would let him move back in. He did it again 2 years ago and is dragging this divorce out. After a year and a half of emotional hell, I can now say I feel only the most minimal amount for him. If he dropped dead tomorrow, I don't know if I would shed a tear. It is wonderful to finally feel like myself again, to have relationships with friends of my own choosing and not the nuts he keeps in his life, to do what I want when I want without worrying about his opinion, to not be put down, criticized and demeaned anymore...when he tries to do it, I just ask him calmly why do you do that...I don't do that do you; what makes you so cruel or I just ignore him. When he called me a fat ass the other day, I just laughed and said that's right I am a fat ass and shook my butt in his face. His words no longer have any effect on me since I no longer care what he thinks. Since you have made it this far out of the fog and for this long, please do not let anything he says to anyone else or anything to you (if he gets that chance), change your mind. You will end up back in the hell you've forgotten, only it will be worse the next time to get out and you will be angry with yourself for letting it happen all over again. You are worth too much to take a chance on him again, and there are too many other wonderful choices out there...even being by yourself is a better choice! Stay strong! |