The lies are part of the gas lighting. They do like to keep you off balance. It makes you insecure. If your insecure your trying like hell to please them!
It doesn't matter why they lie, just that they do. I had never met a liar before. I guess I should feel lucky it took me 42 years to meet one.
From the very beginning it was all lie. A relationship based on a lie. The lie was the N was a caring sensitive person, and a good parent and provider. All of that was a lie. There were many red flags I ignored. I can think of plenty of situations he manipulated to keep me off balance. I think about those times that I thought I was happy, they were brief. He couldn't stand for me to be happy. It was like a kid who has a toy and shows it to his friend and lets him play with it for a few minutes and then takes it back and won't let the friend play with it anymore. You think your going to finally get what you want only to have it taken away. This happened to me over and over. I also saw his child do that to one of his friends. I understand so many things that I didn't before. When I finally understand it all may be it will be behind me. |
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