| Forgiveness is for me. I can never forget what the N did to me. I feel incredible stupid for allowing it for so long. There were times that I went back to the N and thought I had forgiven the N, but I hadn't. Real true forgiveness takes time when the hurt goes so deep. It's impossible when the abuse never ends, it only subsides for a short period. The abuse is like a sore that heals to a scab every once in a while, only to opened again by Narcissistic injury. Only when I went NC, did it start to heal and even then, the scars are there for ever. The N doesn't deserve our forgiveness, but we deserve forgiveness from ourselves. It's hard and it takes time. The anger at him keeps me from moving on, but it has gotten better since NC. I am just thankful that I haven't ran into him anywhere. I don't know how I would react. I don't want him to have power over me so getting rid of the anger is the last step in my recovery. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what they did. They don't deserve to be in our lives. To me it means letting go of the past and finding peace again, letting God take care of the N. |
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