I have been where you are. I could have written your post a year ago. Tomorrow it will have been a year since the final breakup. I N dipped a couple of times but the last time I was able to get some closure, and It helped. I don't recommend doing that. We broke up more times than I can remember. He always cheated with the other women sometime within days of getting back together. Closure didn't come any of the other times. I can only say time makes it easier, your friends will understand if you stay away from him and don't obsess with them, about him. It isn't easy. The more time that goes by, friends and family come around. It's very hard, when you need to vent, go to the new site and vent to all of us. We have all been there, we will not judge, but some of us will be brutally honest if there is a need to be. You must go NC. I was like you I thought I had lost everyone's respect including my own. People who love you never left you, but they do get tired of hearing us obsess, about the N when they D&D us. They see us go back to the N, and each time we are hurt. They can't help us. It's out of their control. The thing to think about is, would you want some one you love to be treated the way that you were. NO. So if you need to talk about the N then do it with us, on the new site. We will respond and there is always someone who will be on here to help you.
I agree with you the N is the devil. When you happiest is when they do their worst. They can't let anyone be happy for long before they have to blow it apart. I told the N that only the devil could treat me like he does. Real love does not hurt. He is the devil so when and if he makes contact remember that. If he calls you program him in your phone as the Devil then don't answer it when he calls. Block his email address and don't listen to his voice mail. If you can get on youmail.com and personalize your voice mail so that if he does call, he gets a nasty message and then a hangup. He won't be able to leave messages.
NO Contact is power and it is the best revenge ever. Listen to empowerment songs. There have been threads on here before with titles of empowerment songs. Start a new one on the other site. They helped me. Read and Read. Most of all think about how much better it is, how much stronger you get when your away from the N. But BEWARE, when your strong, is when they come back, so they can destroy you all over again. It's a vicious cycle that is only stopped when you go NO CONTACT.
Good luck
Wildwon |
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