HI sb4home.

 

There is, at least for me, a form of detachment, so strong, that I can be totally separated from my N from hell stepson while sitting next to him talking to him.

 

I guess I've learned how to detach totally psychologically. Our families have neighbourhood, business, attachments going back almost 40years so it's likely that I'm going to run into him from time to time but there's no willing participation on my part, just situational.

 

I can give him that social smile and say I'm fine thanks - and you? and that's the only question I ever ask him. I can sidestep his landmine questions and remarks with the skilled easy that I've learned.

 

And then, that quick little look at my watch and then drift off to enjoy myself with other people.

 

You can do this too. Don't let the bastard do this to you. It just takes a little practice. And, soon, very soon, the N will avoid you like Typhoid Mary because he knows he can't rattle your cage. He knows you will never ask a question about him. He knows whatever he says you won't believe anway. He knows you won't give a rat's arse about him. And, if he smears you, you can pre-empt and outsmear him by making a display in front of other people that you've been wondering where he's been hiding himself and perhaps he can come and join you and your partner later?

 

He who angers you, controls you.
E. Kenney, Australian Nurse