There is alot to read on the subject of narcissism, Mia, and I suggest you do that. 

 

What I am trying to learn to do with an N in my life, who happens to be my sister, is "detach with love." 

 

Melodie Beatty has written a few books on the subject of co-dependence, and I found much help in them -- in learning to break loose of some of the ties that bind (and strangle). 

 

Good luck to you.  You're between a rock and a hard place.  When it comes to loved ones within the family, it's best to try to "detach with love." 

 

HI mia. I agree. Sometimes we can't go No Contact with family and, we'll all run into Ns in future so it's important to learn the coping methods of dealing with N.

 

#1 Rule Learn as much as you can as fast as you can and protect yourself financially and emotionally.

 

#2Rule - never forget #1.

 

General groundwork - never ask the N for anything and never do anything for him either.

 

Keep a sense of humour and look at him  like a mental case that you have to ride with on a bus until you get to where you can get off. Something like a nasty dentist's appointment.

 

Narcissists are incorrigibly and notoriously difficult to change. Thus, trying to change them is doomed to failure. You should either accept them as they are or avoid them altogether. If one accepts the narcissist as he is �?one should cater to his needs. His needs are part of what he is. Would you have ignored a physical handicap? Would you not have assisted a quadriplegic? The narcissist is an emotional invalid. He needs constant adulation. He cannot help it. So, if one chooses to accept him �?it is a package deal, all his needs included.
How to Cope with a Narcissist?
Frequently Asked Question By: Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html<o:p></o:p>

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FIVE DON'T DO'S How to Avoid the Wrath of the Narcissist
The TEN DO'S - How to Make your Narcissist Dependent on You if you INSIST on Staying with Him
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Tips �?by Sam Vaknin, PhD
http://samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

<o:p>To get him off your back, throw him some NS "My aren't you the clever one." "I wish I had a keen mind like you have." don't over do it.</o:p>

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<o:p>Minimize your time with him and don't be such a good source of NS that he seems to latch on to you. Make it difficult for him to have contact with you - (ie be really busy) </o:p>

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If you have a boss, a roommate, or (heaven help you) a parent with full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, your attempts to develop healthy self-esteem will be severely challenged. There are four ways to go about dealing with such people. Each approach may be useful at various times, and understanding all four will give you a range of responses to your own least favorite narcissists.
THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION The Narcissists in Your Life: How to Handle Them
By Martha Beck “O�?Magazine, August, 2003)
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200308/omag_200308_beck_d.jhtml</o:p>