This is weird, Withernomore.
I said the other day that what you said about your background and FOO made me think of my own and that my sister has said, referring to our upbringing, that she's surprised that either one of us got out of there with any self-esteem at all.
And it is this same sister who I believe (and so do many other people) is a complete nutball!!!!
I got two text messages this a.m. about how sick she is. I don't hear from this gal for 2 months at a time, but if she's sick -- I get text messages and/or e-mails that go on, and on, and on, and ON about "poor me." She even says it. "Poor me."
EVERYTHING is about her. Or her kids. Her husband had surgery not long ago. Minor. So my other sister didn't feel obligated to take a day off work to sit in the hospital to keep the NSis company. My parents, who are aged, felt the same way. And we had to hear about how stressful it was for her to sit there alone all day. (I live out of state, otherwise I'd also be an evil villan for not attending.)
And a few days later, when she was home trying to prepare vegetable soup, she cut her finger. She called my other sister -- at work -- crying because she needed somebody to come and cut the vegetables because her husband needed something nutritious. And the guy (who just had surgery) had to call a friend to come over to more or less soothe the lunatic in the kitchen.
HE has surgery and she turns it into a tragedy about HER. She wanted my other sister to leave work because she cut her finger cleaning veggies.
Throughout the years I have given to her and her family financially. You do this for family, if you have the wherewithall. My other sister wants to know why NSis is always so mean and nasty to me, after all I've done for her. I did what I did to be nice to people I love. I don't need special thanks for giving when I had the $$ to give. But, yeah -- why be mean and nasty to me? If I never gave a dime, why be mean and nasty to me? I played practical jokes on her (and everybody else) when we were little. All I ever hear is about the time I did this or did that. It was a joke. I was 10. But I traumatized her delicate sensibilities, don't you know?
There was an internet pic of a hairless, weird-looking dog and its pups that went around, with a caption on the order of, "Love your family -- no matter how strange." I sent it to a list of people. Not to her individually. Her name was one on a list of multiple names. She blasted me back with something like, "That pic was scarey! WHY do you always do these things to me?! You are MEAN! I'm not going to open your e-mails anymore!" This is normal?
She is a church-goer and she wants everybody to know it. Amazingly, at a family function, when my other sis served something that was rather fattening (as an appetizer), NSis said, "You b*tch!!" If I wanted to joke with somebody about serving fattening food when I was on a diet, I think something like, "Oh you devil! I'm gonna get you for this! :-)" might be more appropriate. Especially if I want to brag about how many times a week I hit the sanctuary. Somehow, I just don't believe that somebody who's trying to live "in the Spirit" is going to turn around and blurt out "You b*tch!" to her sister when she's served an appetizer that has more calories than hoped for.
Oh, she just loves my beautiful grandchildren. And someday she will send the gifts --that she actually never bought, but does enjoy pretending she bought. Seems like if you bought a gift for somebody a year ago, you might have mailed it by now. NORMAL people exchange gifts like that. Her daughter got married, and of course I gave to her. If her daughter had a baby, of course auntie would send a gift. NORMAL families do that.
But she'd rather buy gifts for her "sisters in the Lord," who she hangs out with during all of her free time. I don't get this. ?? My minister's wife might be a nice lady, but if I have only enough $$ to buy one person a b'day gift, my sister is getting the gift. Well, not THAT sister anymore, but you get my drift. I do not understand giving to people who you just met a year ago, while ignoring your family's special occasions. It is WEIRD.
Oh. And I met a lady, by way of my daughter and her school chum, who is a Latter Day Saint. This lady is about as nice as they come. And I started to hang out with her. Because she's nice and has good family values. I was up front from the start that I would never become LDS, and my friend was fine with it. To this day, my sister maligns her at every turn. Because they aren't "real" Christians. A great big part of the world aren't Christians, in case she hasn't noticed. Why put them down? IMO, "real" Christians don't go around putting anybody down! And I don't need to check the Big Book. That's the rule!
But I suppose Ns get to make their own rules.
I live out of state. And if I go back, do not think for one minute that I'm buying into her crap -- to keep anybody happy. I'll be nice for Mom's sake. I'll call the nut when's she's sick. She can tell Mom that I called and everybody will be happy. But I'm not looking for packages in the mail that aren't coming -- for my beautiful grandchildren who she does not give a flying fig about. They are adorable little objects for her to brag on to Sister R and Brother J. Up hers!
I will call her tonight to see how she's feeling. She'll tell Mom and Mom will be happy. And as she talks and drones on and on about "poor me," I will probably be reading posts on this forum and pretending to listen to her.
Good luck. I have a feeling you live close by. I'll keep a good thought for you.
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