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It is without a doubt very hurtful when this is done and how we react is carried over from what we are taught or not taught.
When another condemns, says evil, bad mouths you, lies or says unkind words, my reaction has always been to get angry, to explain myself, to defend myself, to play it over & over in my mind and try to figure out where they were coming from etc...
A very effective tool that is hard to use but truly works is to look another in the eye and simple say 'thank you'. That is the que that it is time to leave. Then calmly leave with no other words, reaction or comments.
It is the only way NOT to keep reacting and keep the unhealthy behavior of you/them from continuing and to maintain the honor of thy SELF.
Interesting eh? If you try it, let me know how it works for you and how you felt afterwards. Thanks!
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| | From:  femfree | Sent: 25/06/2008 7:39 p.m. |
HI Morningcheetah. You wrote... my reaction has always been to get angry, to explain myself, to defend myself, to play it over & over in my mind and try to figure out where they were coming from etc... bad tactic. That's what you were being baited for in the first place - to create a scene and get you on the defensive. To their lies and accusations and bizarre behaviour - do and say nothing. That's what shocks them. See our page on the smear campaign of the abuser on the left. |
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