Your minding her child? It sounds like this arrangement has been forced upon you. My advice is to simply tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not minding her son anymore, and so she can find alternate arrangements. She obviously has no care for you, treating you this way, and completely ignoring that you have lives and children too- just say NO. Start putting up boundaries. And if she starts to cause trouble- ie- harrassing you when you said no- call the police.

 

Also, she might pull you in by playing the pity-party. But trust me, she does not care about you- she just expects you to care about her and for her to use you when she wants.

 

By the sounds of things, you are a lovely lady- and I know that truly nice people sometimes have trouble saying 'NO' especially when it looks like the other is in need. But trust me, she doesn't appreciate what you do. It's best to cut ties.

 

 

Hi Trixiebelle

 

I thought of this forum for you

 

 

Neighbours from hell from Britain.

_Trixiebelle_ why not use your email here as documentation, and file a report with children's services or DCF??

you could also use this to file an injunction against her in court and demand the judge order to have NC with any members of you or your family.. if she violates the order-you call the police immediately,document-time,place and what transpired-they will then hold her in contempt..

I find your situation very interesting. There is a subtle 'game' being played by her, it seems to me. I think it is interesting because this type of thing goes on a lot, and, for me, is right on the money. Unfortunately, these characters are quite prevalent, and it is really nasty. I'm a very easy-going person, a nice and gentle person, happily bumbling on, enjoying my life (including its struggles and demands), and my head is full of lots of stuff and thoughts and ideas, and I like to think of myself as graceful, in that I am honest and trusting and happy to help and, well, it just makes life good. As a friend, I suppose I would interpret that as someone who always has the friend's best interests at heart and they never have to look for anything coming from behind.  As I have gone through life I have discovered that not everyone is like me, and it has been difficult to suss them because I only have my own frame of reference to go off, and my NM made me a fool by constantly lying to me through my life, and playing exactly the same type of games you describe, really doing my head in. An absolute nutter, I now know. But these characters are out there, and they really are out to dominate you and destroy you. It sounds crazy, but that is because it is crazy, their craziness. It has been easy for these people to play there games on me, as they get some kind of kick or NS from it. Anyway, you have to face-up to the issue. Perhaps the way to do it is to make up your mind you are through with them, and rather than run away, just imagine them as being strangers, and unfamiliar to you (they need the familiarity to access you and the knowledge of your nice character to put you in positions to manipulate you and cause you unhappiness), and  then just be more and more 'cold' with them. Have that expression on your face which, if they tried to be familiar with you, would have a puzzled look, like if a total stranger came up to you and started being familiar, and they just keep on like this, and eventually be totally blanking them like they didn't exist.  Also, check out that massive N, Mrs Bucket in the British TV programme 'Keeping up Appearances'. You MUST see this, and especially check out the neighbours who have the misfortune to live next door. It hillarious, be scary if you are involved with an N.   All ther best, etc, etc........

Hi Trixie. She's given you a lead in.

 

You wrote that she says.

 

I asked if she would return a similar favour. She simply said she didnt like intruding on others lives and walked away. My husband tried and she said the same thing.  

 

I can only recommend that you might say to her "good idea N, since you don't like to intrude, why don't you wait until we call you then, OK? That would work better for both of us I think."

 

maybe some would see this as 'bitchy, but I don't.