Hi I am new and I think I had an epiphany

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From: Elfaditi Sorry, for some reason I delete my original post. Here it is: Hi, I need help, as I think I am a daughter of a NPD person. I am in my late 30s and my life has been "controlled" by a very presumptuos mother. At the moment she is in her late 70s and only relates to people who ftatter her somehow, (or she imagines they do). The other day for example she spent some time at the cleaners and the only thing she said when she came back was "the woman at the cleaners cares about me so much" and when my anser was that in my mind that was a "business" relationship, (you pay she cleans why would she care?) she got angry (AS ALWAYS) and walked away. This is just one example of a very long list, I could spend hours telling stories. No sooner she has an interaction with anybody only the part of some flattery towards her is reported. The main problem is that she tried to be controlling and that it seems that I am paying for some fault. The problems arised when I chose to follow my path that did not match with her ideas. The revenge started. I have been told even by shopkeepers that she nagged about me, (and several). She spoke poorly about my partner and me with almost anybody she knows or meets telling them our private things, she has been building scenarios and even went to a lawyer to try to act against us, which of course was not possible. She never ever said that she was sorry for whatever mistakes (in 38 years!) she made, because I think that she feels that she made no mistakes. (Her typical sentence when confronted with it was "do I have to lower myself to you?"). If a person is considered by her as being "nice" (mostly that corresponds to a certain economical "status" or looks), and this person comes up with any form of criticism towards her that person becomes the worst in the world. I recently had two pregnancies. She keeps on saying that "I did change ohysically" that I "should workout" and "lose some weight". She even comes up with giving me some of her clothes telling me to try them on because they are too wide on her. The problem is that we weight the same (156 pound) but I am 5.6 and she is 4.9. When I feel upset she says that "she did not do it with bad intentions". When confronted after the "rage" if something did not go well between the two of us, she tells me how "good she is", that she doesn't at all act in a wicked fashion and that her only interest is my family's happiness. Hard to believe when maybe 30 minutes before she claimed she doesn't give a ... about me. I'll stop here, sorry for the long post. My question is: I see all the symptoms of a NPD, all of them. Do you? If so how do you deal with somebody who acts like this? She would never even consider going to a psicologist, I can imagine that if I were to suggest that she has NPD she would jump up the ceiling screaqming that I have a brain disease (she does that on a regular basis). Thank you all for the help.

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