I never see posts on these boards or forums about Narcissistic Adult Children.  Maybe because everyone thinks that if they tell, people will think it is THEIR fault. But I don't think it's always true.  My tall, handsome son was NEVER abused.  In fact, he had success in everything at a young age and was admired and adulated, which he loved and still loves!  . I obsess a lot over my relationship (or lack of one) with my 36 yr old son. We are so distant, I would even say we are currently "estranged."

 

I moved 3 mons.ago to be closer to my kids and attend his 2nd magnificent wedding.  First wife told me she felt like a "doormat."  Sound like she was his narcissistic sustenance.

 

My daughter and her husband helped very much with the move (I am 60 and divorced) She is a joy!  But he hasn't seen my new place and doesn't even know where I live.!!  I went to his wedding in late June -- to another Greek Goddess (so beautiful!)  we danced, but other than that, he didn't say much of anything.  I feel that he shuns me.  It Hurts!  It Hurts a lot!  He hurts his sister too!  Mostly, he IGNORES us because we are common, not wealthy, and not part of the "beautiful people"(my opinion)

 

Since I joined this group, I feel like a mystery has been solved . He is a Narcissist!  He has trouble with "true" intimacy, and really doesn't care about others or their feelings. I wonder if he is really a sick person and can't really help himself.  His father was similar.

 

For the last 8 years, after months of asking him to visit my dying mother, I have been walking on eggshells around him. I criticized him, which is Off Base.  I feel like I will have to make up for it the rest of my life, or be shunned.

 

He was a good child and a decent teenageer, but now he shows all the signs of N that made me divorce his father.  He has no children, and is obsessed with his looks and his many "toys" like a 60 inch plazma TV, nice house, etc.  Kids will consume his "precious time" and he knows it.  So they are going to wait a while, hmmm, like in the first marriage. I'm not sure they should have any.  New beautiful wife is selfish too. I called 3 times after their honeymoon in Hawaii to see her and have lunch, and she never answered or returned any messages!

 

These people are adults who totally ignore their mother, their niece, their sisters, and are totally self absorbed. I can't believe I raised such a selfish person!  I am NOT an N, and I was home with him for 10 yrs, was loving,  and available.  If anything, I was too encouraging and permissive. 

Things haven't been the same since my mother died. He wouldn't visit her after I begged.  I apologized for saying "I feel like I have one child, his sister" but I don't remember him ever apologizing for anything. 

 

I can't deal with this anymore. I called him after 2 months and blew up. That's what happens.  Snidely, he said, "as usual, it's been a pleasure speaking to you."  I can't help it.  I am human. I think he wants an invitation for a nice dinner and me to pay.  Then he would see me. 

 

I am seriously considering NC, as is his sister. I don't influence her, really!  I will speak to him if I see him someday, but my calls for contact are futile. Maybe I will see him at Christmas. (we live 5 miles apart).

 

If anyone has a similar situation, please share it with me.  I have to heal myself, and go on with my life.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.