NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY

Son seems to be responding positively to the NC, as he came over and gave me a hug, without me doing so first! I wouldn't have anyway. I gave new beautiful wife a hug then, a mistake, since she was quite cold and didn't smile. I don't know her very well, but think she may be a N too. Hands off her now..

My first grandchild was baptized this a.m. Every ne was happy and smiling when arriving, and his wife of 17 yrs now is getting quite warm. She gave me a hug.

XNH was right next to her, so I gave him a small hug and said "Hi Grandpa" as this is our first Grandchild. He was stiff and cold and even after 17 (seventeen) years said nothing to me. Never again. We are all near or over 60 now and I feel she may be NS to him as I was, but at 60, it's hard to leave a nice house, etc.

w/o even a job.

The bitterness about my divorce, is starting to fade, but it has taken many years.....

I wrote in my Adult N Child post, giving up the house to him and new wife and child was the hardest of all, and I don't really know why? I had "house" dreams for years. I read somewhere that a house in your dreams represents something like your full being, or your security. Anyone know any more about this?

Well, I still recommend moving out of same neighborhood as xNh if you have to give up the house, but mostly do whatever you can to keep it!

I had a garden and rose bushes and fruit trees, and now they are all gone and backyard is a mess of dog poop, etc. That's why I say, Move Far Away, if you have to give it up.

Anyone else here have a devistating and bitter "house issue" after a divorce from an N? Am I the only one?

Thanks,

Judy

First Previous 2-3 of 3 Next Last

Message 2 of 3 in Discussion

From:

Kimkatie

Sent: 24/09/2008 2:07 a.m.

Judy
I totally understand being mad and being bitter at the N. I certainly have been and still have my moments. But the bottom line is my n has longed moved on. I am nothing to him. When I was bitter only I was hurt, only I was in prison, he was having a great life with the OW. well as great as a shallow selfish n can have. I am working very hard at overcoming my bitterness because otherwise the n still has control of my life.

I am so sorry you lost your house. Have you ever been to a counselor to see if they can help you come to terms with the loss? You have suffered too much to have to keep feeling bad. You survived the n, you don't have to deal with him anymore. You have a right to feel good.

Message 3 of 3 in Discussion

From:

judywilling1

Sent: 24/09/2008 11:03 p.m.

Hi Kimkatie:

Thanks for the reply. Thanks for the suggestions too.

My N "moved on" long ago, too, but in MY house. I am nothing to him either, and I bet he only thinks of me maybeeee every couple months.

I really didn't LOSE my home. At the time of the settlement, I AGREED to let him live there and got my portion of the equity.

What surprises me so much is that I didn't really think it would bother me, but it certainly did!!!

As for counselors, yes, I have been to several, and am doing much better now, really.

I am just curious -- did anyone else who AGREED to give up the house, like I did, have any regrets? It's like my conscious mind said, "It's OK". But deep inside my subconscious or "inner child" didn't like it one bit.

I have to see him again in about 10 days and his wife too.

He ignores me, as he did while we were married, and my new plan is to speak only if spoken to. He still treats me like dirt, which is actually a surprise to me, because so many years have passed, so many.

At my daughter's wedding about 3 years ago, he said nothing to me, but I strained to get their attention, just to say "Hello" to them. No more of that.

As they walked away from the service, down a wooded lane, past me and my family, he said nothing, BUT I swear he put his hand in back of him and gave me the finger! I saw it, but it's hard to get anyone to believe me.

What an immature person. Glad he's out of my life. She can have him.

He is invisible to me now, because I do get hurt, and it's time to stop hurting and enjoy life.

Thanks,

Judy

Notice: Microsoft has no responsibility for the content featured in this group. Click here for more info.

MSN - Make it Your Home�