Just wondering. Might be a pattern forming. This N comes from a whole family of N's. Including the mother. It's very regimed. There is no logic there, all blindly 'follow the leader' which is my father- and this is all instigated by the mother. They fall over themselves to obey, even though they are narcissists too. Is there some knid of hierarchy in the N family or something?  Do any of your XN's families work like this?