I hope this isn't too long but I'm not sure how to shorten it so I apologize in advance.

 

I believe that my brother is a big time N but I'm not certain. It's important that I know because it will influence any decisions that I make with regard to a business that we share.

 

In a nut shell, I believe that my brother is an N because of the following reasons:

He is extremely negative (most negative person I know), thinks everyone is out to screw him, is arrogant, has an incredible sense of entitlement (at least within family), he's abusive, he's miserable, he thinks that the only person that ever loved him was our  mother, he lives in the past and thinks only of what could have or should have been, his only "friends" are low lifes, he blames everyone else for his problems, takes no responsibility for his actions, has no achievements to speak of and has a trophy wife.

 

Now for a little background- I'm 40, female and he's 47 and my only sibling. Our father is/was possibly an N- very controlling, successful, critical and could be verbally abusive. Our mother died when I was 9 and my brother was 16. He never got along with our father, never did well in school and was a pothead and a troublemaker.  Our dad really didn't know how to deal with him and seemed to alternate between enabling his behavior and berating him for not taking responsibility. Dad gave him a business (when he was 18 or so) which he bankrupt in a matter of years so my father helped him start another business. He's never been able to hold a job outside of my father's business (and he was fired from that a number of times.) In the meantime, my brother and I were given some rental property as per our mother's request before she died. It was held in trust by our father who treated it as his own and spent any income like it was his own so by the time we were in control of it there was a mortgage on it and no cash in the account. As a result of this, my brother decided to sue our father which I was totally against. After they settled, my brother turned on me and I didn't see it coming. So for the past ten years he's been harassing me and accusing me of various things but for the most part he insists that I owe him a ridiculous sum of money because he believes that during the 25 years the property was in trust for us, that I received more than he did. This is all coming to a head right now because he is now insisting that I agree to an insane arrangement (for eternity) where I compensate him for managing the property and for my misdeeds going back to my teens or he will sue me. We've been emailing back and forth for the past couple of weeks and he is pressuring me for an answer. I've been telling him that I won't agree but I don't know how to get out of this situation with him. He's been trying different tactics including threatening to file a report with the IRS for something that he claims our father did, putting a lien on the property and now he's giving me a sob story about how his wife is looking for a job and he can't pay his mortgage (which I believe.)

 

So is he an N and do I do whatever it takes to get out of this situation (we've barely spoken in the past 10 years) and it will certainly be costly to do so or do I agree to certain things because he's family and he needs help?

 

Again, sorry for the length. I actually left out a lot of information but hopefully it's enough to give a good idea of the situation.

 

J