Lotty,

Thank you for posting what I have always felt, and thought about , and knew about, my past and present N-hubbies.  My first N-hubby made pretty good grades in school, yet he did not have an ouce of common sense.  He could never think for himself, and never made a decision without getting his entire cast of family and "friends" input. It's one thing to get some helpful, well-meaning advice from loved ones, but to be a grown man, and never decide anything on his own, is pretty weak to me.  He never could admit to the possibility that he might actually be wrong about anything, and made damn sure that my opinions were ridiculed, insulted, and oftentimes just palin dismissed.  My second husband ,(the one I presently have), seems to be the type who is capable of making good choices, yet he is very much influenced by others, and worries about what they might think.  I have seen him, over the years, literally picking up other people's habits, or interests, and trying to reform to whatever behavior his pals, at the time, are doing.  He'll say one thing, and if a person he admires says the opposite, he'll suddenly see things their way.  I find it quite embarassing.  It's like watching a small child who is trying too hard to "fit in".  I find this to be a weakness, and total lack of individualism, and because I am so opposite from him, he tries to make me look like a jerk for speaking my OWN mind, and opinions, even if they are different from the so-called "norm".  I'd rather have common sense, and my own mind over being boo smart any day.

 

              kitty