From what you state, your mother staying with an alcoholic means somehow she was codependent in that relationship. She may think her control and 'suggestions' to you were just what you needed. She always had to take control when others and her world was out of control.
I know labels are hard to put on individuals we care about in our lives. Identifying consciously is important to you as a person. Know who you are and are not. Focus on those that are positive and bring your spirits FLOWERS and smiles in life.
"Dysfunction breeds dysfunction and mental illnesses are passed on to other family members. It is a cycle that only a healthy person can break."
maybe you just need to surround yourself with healthy individuals
then you will be able to identify family members more accurate and your own behavior you learned as a child.
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