So very often, we as children are born into life situations that can either make us or break us. More often than not, children of narcissistic parents have to learn coping skills that children born into "normal" non-dysfunctional families are never required to learn. I agree with you that this causes us to learn how to function in a dysfunctional way. Our boundaries are crossed each day, and we are treated as objects who are born to serve. I have no doubt that I was attracted to a narcissistic partner because it felt normal to me. After more than 20 years of therapy, I am much better able to cope than say 10 years ago.

When you are born into a family with a mother with NPD, you are not at adulthood a healthy person who can break a cycle. It isn't that easy. It takes much work and learning. I feel that each day I take another step into living my own life instead of someone else's. It is not only a matter of knowing who you are and are not, it is much more complex than this. It is a matter of sorting through all the subliminal messages inbeded in the primal brain that were put there in our formative years. This takes years.

I do believe though that we emerge stronger than ones who have never experienced this form of torture. Hopefully so anyway.

I am happy for you that you are going down a different road in your life, and feel good about it. This is a  major milestone for someone who has been a child or close relative with someone with NPD.