NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY

I'm so miserable, I have been trying or shall I say wanting to lose 20 lbs for mos. I got on the scale and weight this morning. I have gained exactly 10 ponds in 2 wks. How is this possible? I know there are people that think that's nothing, but it is to me. I'm already down on myself and it has just made me totally depressed. I know what I need to do to lose, but I just don't seem to have the energy. Does depression make you fat? And I'm sorry, but this is fat to me. I don't mean it toward anyone but me, but I hate being so miserble.

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Sent: 10/10/2008 7:24 a.m.

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Sent: 11/10/2008 2:43 a.m.

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Message 5 of 10 in Discussion

From:

candice507

Sent: 11/10/2008 5:25 a.m.

Thank you for responding. 20lbs is a lot of weight when you are already depressed and it just the weight just seems to make it so much worse. I honestly do not want to get dressed and do anything for I feel so horrible about my weight. If I ever say anything about it at work I get shamed because I am told I'm being selfish for thinking that when there are people how here so much more overweigh. Well I know this, but all the overweight people I know seem perfectly fine with it and it's not a problem and I admire that. But its not something I'm happy with for me. I hate it. I don't have the engery and cant seem to get motivated to do anything about it but think about it. I am depressed and I am still having contact with N. He doesn't tell me I'm overweight. He actually tells me how beautiful he thinks I am..but I think it's a act. He can cut me down when he thinks he is complimenting me. He is little younger and very good looking. He will ask questions like "do I make you feel old?" or "you aren't fat to me" or "I don't want people looking at us as a couple and wondering what I am doing with you" or "am I your yardboy" or poolboy. He's 10yrs younger, these things make me feel like he's 30yrs younger and I'm lucky to have him. He thinks he is complimenting me when he holds my hand and tells me I'm beautiful and if I make you feel old I'm sorry. I hate that. I've never said anything about the age difference. That really didn't bother me untill he says something stupid like that.

Message 6 of 10 in Discussion

From:

Trinity38100

Sent: 11/10/2008 1:05 p.m.

Were you depressed and overweight before you entered into this relationship?

If not, then perhaps the solution to both is to not be in the relationship.

Message 7 of 10 in Discussion

From:

kyrajames

Sent: 11/10/2008 2:08 p.m.

I agree with everything that Plum said.

The weight does go up and down with depression- I went from eating quite a bit to eating nothing at all for days on end.... when everything came out with the estranged n father and the affair with DIL, my mum lost a stone (14 pounds) in a week- I lost 7 pounds in that time. Mum has since lost another three stone (42 pounds) in a few months. I have lost two stone (28 pounds).

Exercise and getting out of house- walking (if you have a dog- this is a plus- because it means that you have to do it anyway) really helps- joining a gym and getting a trainer would do wonders because it's goal setting. Goal setting changes the mindsets and pulls you out slowly. I know how hard it is to pull you out of the quagmire that is depression (I had major/clinical depression) but you really have to try hard to except that you are worthy of getting better.

And also- ceasing contact with the n- who quite frankly, looks like he is totally messing with your head- trying to make you feel completely undesirable. You don't need to hear that. You need to be well.

(((((HUGS))))))

Message 8 of 10 in Discussion

From:

Annieashley1

Sent: 11/10/2008 6:06 p.m.

Hey Canadice,

Boy! Do I understand! My weight has been up down and all around! While it probably is related to depression--PLEASE have your thyroid checked. 10 pounds in 2 weeks sounds like it could be related to a thyroid problem--which I have. If it is, it will make your depression that much worse. Take Care.

Hugs!

Annie

Message 9 of 10 in Discussion

From:

parenchyma68

Sent: 20/10/2008 4:33 a.m.

The salad is the main dish.

I eat mostly salad. Vegetable salad and fruit salad. It is my life. I am thin.

If I ate the standard American diet I would be bigger than my house, for sure.

Don't be depressed, eat salad! Let every meal be a celebration of life, cruelty free! There is no misery when you know that you aren't taking lives to live.

Message 10 of 10 in Discussion

From:

goingnorth2

Sent: 25/10/2008 7:11 a.m.

Candice,

Everybody is different.

What I'd do is:

For the moment, don't think about losing weight.

Focus on not gaining more weight.

Consider how some of treat ourselves at these times -- with ridiculous diets and healthcare maintenance.

I have one must-take drug. For a week or so, I simply didn't take it. I forgot. One single little pill that I take daily, without fail. I forgot to take an a.m. pill that I've been taking for 20 years. If I don't take this drug, my energy level goes through the floor.

There I was, laying around sleeping for 14 hours at a time. I was thinking, "Dang! This depression is something!" It was the pill. The one I didn't take. It hit me one day. Like a lightbulb. "Your pill. No wonder you can't get out of bed."

Some of us treat ourselves SO, SO bad!!!!!

While you are actively fighting weight gain (but not yet jumping in on the diet), prepare yourself for the lose-20-pounds-diet. Do your reading. Do your planning. Write your menus. Do your shopping.

Get it all lined up. And when the time is right . . .

You can do this, Candice. It's 20 pounds. A good case of the flu will take 5-6 lbs. off. Candice, 20 pounds isn't that much.

If you're feeling "unable" right now, just do the damage control thing, so it won't creep up to 30 pounds .

Everything in its own time,Candice.

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