Is the deposition for your answers or his?

Both. But on separate days.

if you are there maybe N will lie less,

My N was not present for mine and  I was thankful for that but I am going to be present for his. I look it at as an opportunity to assist my atty. I know him the best and I know what quesitons will push him to far and what questions he will lie about it. SO our strategy is to take a break about 1/2 way through and we can then discuss what things she needs to ask again.  I hope to show HIS atty  his true colors b/s she is snowballed right now.  I guess I am trying to see the advantages to it. May be that will be helpful for you.  And don't make eye contact with him - ignore him and act like he isn't there. Hard to do but worth it.  Just keep you r head down and take notes during his depo and during yours , turn your body away from him and focus only on his atty. or look up at the ceiling.  Good luck.

Hi Morgan- I found it useful to be there during my H"s depo- I helped my atty by supplying her with a list of questions to ask  him about  and  of  course she  had  her own  as  well. And when I saw him lying during the depo I could write quick notes to my atty as I was sitting  right next to her. The depo of my H took 5 full hours- we covered  alot of  ground  and  when  my atty wasn't  getting  the  truth out  of  him she would skip  along  to  another subject  then skip  back to  a  prior one- that was strategic  as  it caught  him  off  guard  and  he  then said  more.

          I was scheduled  to  be depoed  right after  him  but since he  took  the  full  day, mine had to be a few weeks later. On  that date the attys  talked  before  we  started and  his atty decided  not  to depo me after  all- seems that  it wouldn't produce enough stuff  to use against  me so they changed  their  mind  at  the  last  minute.

       I later ordered a copy of the depo so I could have it at home- seeing it in black and white is good therapy to remember that he is a true N and competely lacking in empathy  and  remorse  as well  as commitment to  the  truth  and  to  marriage.  I live  in OH and  I  think  that  it was  not  required  that  I  be  there  but  I  found  it to  be  helpful  to my atty and  it  was  truly amazing  to  see  him sitting  there  calmly  proclaiming  that  he was 'honest, trustworthy, and  a  person  of  integrity' after 2  long  affairs  and  leaving  me  with 3  kids for  his  married  OW!

Hi, Morgan.  My STBXNH's depo also took five hours.  I was not required to be there (California) and had not planned to be there, but my lawyer said it would be helpful to him if I did go.  So, I did.  My lawyer did ask me questions during the breaks that I was able to answer, but the day seemed like I was in a fog.  I think I missed about half of what was said.  For the first time, someone was calling him on his behavior, and I was so enormously grateful.  My attorney said that it is much more intimidating to videotape the depo, so that's what we did, and now the DVDs can be shown to the judge (private judge).  It is soooo obvious that he is lying, that there's no way anybody can refute the DVD.  It tells VOLUMES more than a simple written transcript.

Morgan;

 

Don't miss his deposition YOUR LAWYER NEEDS YOU.  Don't show any emotions and yes, be busy writing notes as someone said before for your attorney so he/she can ask the questions, it is their job. 

 

They are going to lie so much, but TELL the truth no matter what, you will feel better about yourself. 

 

They will also distort what you say or what you have done, so be aware and STAY CALM or he will get enjoyment out of it!

I haven't gotten to this point yet (starting the 730 on tues.) but don't we want them to lie and show their true colors? Help me out here...