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| | From:  larien_29 (Original Message) | Sent: 28/10/2008 8:29 p.m. |
Its been some time since Ive been active on here though I do still read here now and again..so maybe nobody will remember my story? Heres a little update I hope it can give a few of you some hope.......
I joined this group when I was pregnant and destroyed by my ex. I had only just become aware of NPD. I came to this group confused, broken and not thinking I could ever get over him and what he'd done to me... even worse I thought I couldn't get by with out him as I loved him so much despite the abuse? Seems crazy now.
For a time I wished I could just disappear and not be alive anymore. Everyday life was that painful.
Well... I'm still here over a year and a half later and guess what...
I'm HAPPY!
Something I never thought I was capable of being again. I am also free... I am my own person, I make my own choices, including who I am friends with, what I wear and what I eat... (some of you may know what I'm talking about here) Doesn't sound like much but it means everything to me.
I have a beautiful son who is perfect in every way, despite my exN trying to convince me to abort him as "he would be a spastic" due to his steroid abuse when we conceived.
Don't get me wrong, I am no perfect survivor of the N. I N dipped, I even took him back at one point, convinced that there was a chance he could change. Nope. No chance. Its all a learning curve, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is a very truthful saying.
So thanks to this group (especially some close friends I made here) and the support of my family, N is not in our lives at all...
I have taken drastic measures to keep NC in place. I have given up friends that have connections with him. I don't go to places where I suspect he may be, Ive a new home... new phone numbers. I have covered all my tracks and it has been so so worth it.
Myself and my children are safe, secure and happy. It is possible. Trust me. Just stay NC and time will make the pain go away |
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Wow! I so needed this today, larien. I am just starting the divorce process after a 20 year marriage to a textbook narcissist. It seems like such an uphill battle. I am struggling for the energy to fight him. I still have some very painful days, but they are less and less.
I need to hear the success stories. Keep em coming.
Congratulations!
BL |
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BL, So glad to help!
When I posted here regularly I often wondered what happened to all the members that stopped posting... did they get back with their N? Did they recover? Was it possible to recover even.
This board helped me so much when I needed it so its nice to give something back.
It must be a huge setback to your NC to have to go through the proceedings of a divorce? Every day is a step closer to being free of him though so stay strong.
Larien |
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What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing; it seems like a good time to do so. Best of luck to you, and congratulations, and I hope your life keeps getting better and better! |
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Larien, It's been a long time since I originally joined--but I really believe I remember your story. I'm so happy for you and what a wonderful witness to the joys of recovery from the n ordeal and devastation. Thank you for sharing your good news. Hugs, BT Also congratulations on your beautiful boy!! |
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Hi Larien and congratulations on your baby boy! I am so glad that you are both doing well. I remember when you were first on here. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It is always uplifting to read about success stories. I totally agree with you that with time it gets better, and becomes just a memory with not much of an emotional charge attached to it. My theory is that "Happiness is only time and NC away". big hugs, Had Enough |
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Well done you, Larien!
I'm a veteran like you. Four years next month since my divorce from XNH came through. I think I expected things to get better straight away - for me to 'get over it' - but it was much more gradual than I'd imagined. I'm so impatient. Having said that, to any of you reading this, getting away from an N, if you can, can only be a good thing in the long run. There's not a lot that can unsettle me these days and I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than end up with another N. Talk about high maintenance! Like Larien, I look back at the abuse XNH dished out to me and just think, "Huh...?". Just goes to show that one of the differences between me then and now is that now I can think straight! I come here very rarely now, but this forum, the managers and the other members here during my prolific attendance really helped me through. I just tend to just look in occasionally without posting. Like I said previously here, it's like holding onto a corner of an old security blanket... Like Larien said, sticking to NC and the passage of time will makes things better. You are all so much stronger than you think. All the very best, RTS |
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