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I just can't believe what is going on here. I feel like I'm going mad. He did hit me. I can't prove it but he did on numerous occassions. He was arrested by the police for god's sake. The compilation of events is definitely what happened - I wrote it to remind myself. I feel crazy. He can't seriously be this much in denial - so much so that he's prepared to bad-mouth me to my own father. I feel totally confused. This is an e-mail my xN just wrote to my dad: For your information I have NEVER hit your daughter. Alas this cannot be said for her. Sometimes you just have to face what your daughter is. I feel sad that it has come to this and all the facts will be brought up and dragged through the mud. It does however seem your daughter has moved on with her life and isn’t the emotional wreck she portrays to you. I refer to the Polo club Ball. If by the way you and your daughter persist with verbal and written documentation that she has circulated amongst my colleagues I have been informed we have a good case for slander so please again desist from these and go through the correct channels. You would do well to take a long hard look at all the issues Sarah has raised in her compilation of events to her Solicitor as these are some what fabrications of the truth. |
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Chatty, You know the truth so don't let him confuse you. He can write anything he wants, that doesn't make it the truth. Part of NPD is they really believe what they say, so they come across as telling the truth because they believe it themselves. Remember, the projection is all part of NPD, Chatty...it is all there plain as day for you to see. Don't try to to understand how or why, they seriously are in that much denial and there is no convicing them otherwise. Their personality is not ordered, their thinking is not ordered, their thinking is not normal. Never try to assign normal, rational reasons for what they do or say. Thing like this are what people with NPD do, Chatty. They project, they twist the truth to put themselves into a good light. There is nothing you can do but ignore it and better, not expose yourself to even knowing about it (if possible) to keep your peace of mind. |
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chatty,
Causing us to feel confused and crazy is what the N do best. It's how they get away with so much for so long.
Expect him to lie about anything that makes him look bad. Some Ns even lie when the truth would serve them better. When dealing with an N only documented facts will help your case, Ns will lie and deny any and everything, they will never admit fault. |
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Thanks Trinity. Even after everything I've read I just didn't realise the full implications of any of it. I thought I was doing ok. I guess you and many others have so much experience in this, I just didn't know this was how bad it was going to be. I feel so stupid. I just can't believe he would do this. I know he's ill but I didn't realise how badly. I'm so worried as we're taking him to court for emotional damage - because he wont give me anything for my half share in the house. I just know he's going to lie lie lie lie lie if we ever get him into court, and I don't know how I'll deal with it. HELP. I just know he'll twist things to make it sound like my fault - he'll convince everyone I'm crazy. Just reading his e-mail makes me feel crazy. |
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Sometimes you just have to face what your daughter is.
I feel sad that it has come to this and all the facts will be brought up and dragged through the mud...i BET HE DOES....WATCH OUT xN...THE MUD WILL STICK ON YOU...I THINK HE MAY MEAN SCARED...NOT SAD!!!!!!
It does however seem your daughter has moved on with her life and isn’t the emotional wreck she portrays to you. I refer to the Polo club Ball. OH NO CHATTY...DID YOU DARE GO OUT ONE NIGHT AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!
If by the way you and your daughter persist with verbal and written documentation that she has circulated amongst my colleagues I have been informed we have a good case for slander so please again desist from these and go through the correct channels..../CAUSE HE IS SCARED SHITLESS...AS YOUR CASE WILL BE EVEN BETTER....
Chatty he is a scared little boy......
Yeo...I know the lies are amazing...
keep reading trins post yo you....
read it over and over again....It's helping me...ty trin |
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selly you're hilarious!! Your message me feel SO much better because I'm laughing .... and yes I DID dare to have fun at the ball, and there was no way on earth I was going to let him see how scared I was of being there! I do wonder how he thinks its ok saying this to my dad - who hates him with a passion!! This is a classic line from the other recent e-mail he sent my dad - a gentleman?!!!! How often do they put pillows over people's heads to suffocate them. Good god the man is insane. .... With regards to 'S' I do not wish to discuss at this moment the part she played in this and have not done so. Please desist from allegations on your behalf as not all is as cut and dried as you make out. I am a gentleman Peter and do not see the point in these actions. |
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Chatty, he is backpedaling as fast as his little legs can carry him! I agree with Selly that he is scared sh*tless and doing whatever he can think of to make his own position/situation better.
Too bad for him!
You're not crazy, hon, he is. For your sake I am hoping your legal battle is over quickly so that you can stop having to hear from him! |
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hi bestgrl - god I hope it would be over quickly but it's going to be months ..... I'm wondering when he's going to switch tactics and start sweet talking me .. from what I've read on hear he'll probably give it a go the sad little worm. I'm trying not to go crazy with it, it's just incomprehensible to me that someone can be such a pathalogical lier. Well I guess I knew, but to lie to my dad about me. I mean it's just insane. I hope the little rat is squirming though, and I'm glad I got under his skin at the ball - I had a 'pretend' boyfriend that night to make sure I was never on my own!! |
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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 9 of 16 in Discussion |
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Detach yourself from this idiot--if there has already been police involvement you have documentation. Your father and anyone else in your family should be blocking his email if possible. Any kind of discussion with him is pointless. If you have a lawyer/solicitor, they should be handling everything. They are there to protect you but you have to let them do their job. Document ANY contact he tries to make, harrassing emails, phone calls etc; those should go straight to the lawyer. Don't try to debate anything with him, argue on the phone etc. The goal here is to get him out of your life and the less emotionally tied you are to him the easier it will be to GET AWAY. |
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Chatty, I'm not surprised. He might know he is telling a lie, or in his mind, he might think he's being truthful. I suppose they'll sort it out in court. Don't worry about it. It's not good for you. Oh. On Selly's post . . . I'm real sorry about those two miscarriages. I know that hurts. These things happen for a reason, though. Try to remember that. And sure, you can be the little sister. You two need to know though: I seem to be layed-back, but don't be fooled. I gave this rule to my son and to my daughter. She went along with the program. He just looked at me. I don't mind if you borrow my clothes or my shoes if they fit you -- and you can borrow my jewelry too. And my cosmetics. But if you don't put the stuff back where you found it -- you're grounded!! No excuses. xo GN |
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Hi GN Good news I can be a sister too - and I promise I don't wear that much makeup so you'll barely notice .....promise  I feel like I'm on the longest learning curve in the world ....I thing I've felt every emotion, and yet I know the worst is to come .... I've never been involved in anything like this and the thought of going to court horrifies me, especially as I'm going to be called a liar ... I wish it was all over. But then if wishes came true he'd sprout a long nose like pinnochio and he'd have horns of the devil!! Chatty xxxx |
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Going to court can be intimidating, Chattie, even if it's not personal. Once, a client of the firm I worked at claimed he had never heard of us. This was because he owed us alot of money that he didn't want to pay. I thought it was very interesting that, since he'd never heard of us, I had a photocopy of a check he sent to us about six months prior -- for $80k. Sort of weird to be sending $80k to folks you don't know. Lesson: Do not ever throw away important paperwork. FIND a place to keep it. You never know when you'll need it. MAKE a place to keep it. But back to you going to court: The only people who will be there are people. Try to remember that and you'll feel better. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. They're all just people. So don't worry. You'll be fine. When do you suppose it will happen? xo GN |
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| | From:  Amora52 | Sent: 11/11/2008 4:37 a.m. |
Chatty, I know exactly how you feel.... I too will be going to court....and I have already gotten some insight as to some of the lies he will try to use..just more proof how sick and demented he is. But, in the beginning I was so scared...of what he was capable of doing.....but, I realized that's what he wanted so that I would give him what he wants from this divorce, rather than I get what I deserve. Funny....we were involved in a court case a few years ago...we both had to give depositions. And, I found them last night and read both. I've said b4 he is not the smartest cookie in the package....and after reading both depos I realized what a game player he is....he would answer questions with questions...ask for definitions of words..he couldn't recall, didn't remember and my was so clear, concise, and very understandable. I have been praying to God that he be with me in court....that all the N's lies come to the surface, and that truth prevail... And, I feel that my finding these depos....it was reassurance that I will be ok.......that his ugliness will show in court..and that God was letting me know.......EVERYTHING WILL BE OK Because liars never win....people see thru them. So be confident that all will be well. Their lies.....it's their projectioning their fears. And, they will get caught......and I'm sure the judges see this all the time....... HAVE FAITH--------that the good in us will prevail and we will be treated justly, and get what we deserve!!! I wish you the best...you know, and we know you are not crazy...I was told by someone who works in the court system that when someone comes in saying the other is crazy....sends up red flags to people who have to make the decisions. If you, the one they are contending is crazy, is able to maintain, answer directly and not get sidetracked with the n's game in court....you will be able to appear so much more responsible, mature....and you will get your way... GOOD LUCK....STAY STRONG..... |
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They are so sick they will LIE mercilessly if it is in their favor. I saw some similar stuff with my XN--in fact, your letter almost has his exact tone! He would DENY, DENY, DENY, to the point that maybe his sick self even came to believe his alternative reality. This is just another of their crazy-making tactics. But, be strong. You know your truth; don't let him take that away from you. And the law IS actually on your side if he hit you, so I would not allow yourself to be intimidated by his cruel and sadistic threats. That's just awful. I'm so sorry. |
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You know, Chatty, reading what he told your dad, all I could hear in my mind was "Blah, blah, blah." One thing I learned in my relatively short time (14 months) with the N was: if there's noise coming from its mouth, then it is lying. I agree with the others that the N is getting squirrelly and concerned. Let it be a scared little rat, desperately trying to find a welcoming hole. Let it be the one to squirm for a while. Don't stop in defending yourself. Facts can sometimes be skewed by those who use them but the facts themselves don't lie. Be cautious, Chatty, and take care of yourself! Hugs to you! |
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Oh yes periwinkle, if its making a noise - IT'S LYING!! In fact, even if ISN'T making a noise, it's probably just busy planning its next lie. They are such pathetic human beings it is UNTRUE. Sorry you are having all this agro chatty, I really hope you get things sorted soon.... purple xx |
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