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I can't do this. I am just sick that I have a child with this n. Simple emails about Thanksgiving and he just has to get his jabs in.....I told him off, I know that's NS for him, but, I've had enough. His mini n son was going to counseling. He was molested by a neighbor boy while n's X was leaving him by himself at age five so she could get those nudie pics taken and up on the internet.......modeling she called it lol. Anyways, SS lived with us last two years because of neglecto mom. He was a terror. Did everything he could to manipulate my home. I was living in a prison with my stamped evil step mom on my forehead. This kid steals, lies, throws kids into the wall, told kids he was having sex with his teacher in 4th grade, mean to my DD!! Sneakiest meanest most manipulative child I've ever seen. I tried so hard to bond w/ him, but, he wasn't having it. So n tells me btw, in email, mini n stepson is cured now. Therapist says he doesn't need to come back as frequently. I knew this was a jab at me and called him on it. Yep, it's all my fault the kid is messed up and I was the root of all evil to everyone and now the COUNSELOR has confirmed it. It hurts. Nobody believes the truth. How did this kid con the therapist? He validated these two horrific people that created this mini n child and it's all me............ I just want to move away.......I wonder if I refused Csupport if he would allow it... I'm so tired of listening to his BS. He always has these little BTW's that are stabs to my heart.........I told him I'm not a part of his life, only DD's and that I don't care about his son, motorcycle club, or what color he painted the walls. Help me........I'm so upset. I want NC!!!! I haven't done a bit of work today, just fuming that my 2 months of peace are disrupted just so he could dump his bad parenting and his juvenile delinquent son's behavior on me!!!!!!!! ARGGGHHHH!!!! |
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Hey WJH, I know the purpose of your thread is to vent and I can appreciate your frustration. I've had a few emails from my ex husband with his blah blah blah stuff. It is frustrating and it can just make you want to blow up with frustration, but as you said, that is what they are looking for. If I were to respond in kind, I imagine him with a smug, happy smile on his face knowing he really got to me. When I respond with just one or two sentences ("yes, you can pick daughter up at 10:00) and that is it (despite a 4,000 word essay on whatever he is ranting about), I imagine him crestfallen and frustrated that he saw no signs that all his hard work, all that effort he put into the email got him nowhere. The ex husband even got so frustrated he said to my son, your mom just doesn't care about me, she just isn't interested in my life. To which my son replied.. umm no dad she really isn't. It's just a learning process, WJH. After so many of these things, you just actually learn to laugh at them or roll your eyes with a "whatever" attitude. Because you know it is nothing but projection, the typical N predictable, boring stuff. |
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Thanks Trinity. I just tried so hard with his son. And, for those two nitwits to pin their dysfunctional son on me........last straw. He hated his X and vice versa, and now they are chummy busy laying their chit on me......what kind of counselor is this anyways? One that never met me for sure. Our joint counselor that met n said she believes he is an N. This guy is well known in the area too. I guess I'm just doubting myself. Maybe I am the wicked step mom and bad wife. I hate that this guy can do this to me with one email. I'm just mad. I'll get over it and learn to tune him out. Azzhole says I'm sorry I offended you, that was not my intention...........BARF!!! Like hell... I truly hate him. |
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WJH, you asked, "what kind of counselor is this anyways?"
... A lazy one. It is easy to blame "the wicked step mother"... much easier than actually getting to the bottom of things with the manipulative child psychopath or his equally manipulative psychopathic parents. |
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WJH, Remember, you are only hearing HIS version of what the counselor says. What N do you know of that doesn't distort the truth to put themselves in a good light while using others as their scape goat? Exactly what he's done with you, right? You have no idea what is going on behind those doors with the counselor. For all anyone knows, the truth could be she fired him as a client because she couldn't help either of them..... He is an N. Don't take what he does to heart, don't believe he tells the truth, difficult as it is. He is disordered and this is what disordered people do, they distort everything.  |
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Spot on, Trinity!!! Very good point to make, a very good reminder! Thanks for posting that!  |
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WJH - ignore, ignore, ignore. I know how hard it is, but honestly what do you care what the xn thinks or some therapist that you've never seen? Remember how they seem to pinpoint our greatest insecurities and weaknesses? They are experts at that, and he just did it to you.
Refuse to fall for it. It's the only way. Whenever the xn in my life (well, he's really not in my life anymore, but I'm trying not to say "my xn") does the whole "I'm going to send you a rant and rave email or text message blah blah this is all your fault because you're such a mean, vindictive person," there is invariably something in there that pulls at my heartstrings and makes me think maybe I am being hardhearted or maybe I should be happy for him and OW or maybe I'm being cruel to his children, etc. etc., I just keep thinking to myself - this guy has no idea what he's saying. He's just saying whatever he thinks might get a reaction. He doesn't care what that reaction is, just that he gets one. The minute I can reduce whatever he says to some sort of off the wall crazy rant without a basis in reality, I'm freed from whatever pull it might have on my self-esteem, insecurities, whatnot. Of course, the problem is that xn is not dumb, so many things are actually grounded in reality, but just aren't true. Doesn't matter. It's a bunch of bull, I say. Don't listen to it.
I'm just so sorry that you have to deal with your x on a regular basis because of children! That must be so hard. You're doing great, though - stick to it. Don't worry about his son anymore, not your problem. I think of the xn's kids every day because I was really close to them and cared about them deeply, but I am working hard to put my feelings for them in the past. It sucks, but there is no other choice for my own sanity. |
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Yes Fem...........hook line and sinker babe! Ahhhh, he knew the biggest button to push. His son was a great source of contention and he knows how hard I tried to blend our family. Same thing when he called my deceased father a POS. Well, I hate him. I really do. I've got to work out a safe way to communicate for DD. He keeps slipping those in on email because I won't talk to him. I know I can do this and outsmart the rat............. Thanks for all the support. I can do this. |
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