Don't believe for a minute that he isn't treating her the same way.  I gave the jerk 31 years....my youth...and another year spent  listening to #2 cry to me about the same things I lived with...even tried to help her get out, but he's hosed her too badly.  I know for a fact that they treat #2 (and any others that follow) the same way they treated #1.  I learned that the hard way, again, on my second marriage to one when #1's family warned me and told me about all their sister/daughter/aunt suffered during her marriage to him. He is not capable of it....with you....or with anyone.