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• My friend

I loved him in a nurturing way when he relapsed into his addiction.  

I believed that if I gave him the chance, he would overcome his selfishness and laziness.  I believed he would overcome his sense of entitlement and his grandiosity.  I believed these were all side-effects of his addictive nature. 

I believed that, in recovery, he would revert back to the man I (wrongly) believed him to be. 

Many addicts display ugly characteristics as side-effects of their addiction.  In time, they overcome these unwanted characteristics. 

Still other addicts become addicts of their nasty characteristics.  I believe that selfishness is at the top of the list of those nasty characteristics in those cases. 

Not the selfishness that we all struggle with.  The n's selfishness is different.  It's malignant, destructive selfishness.  It kills love after time.  Greed.  Wanting every penny he has to himself and for his own pleasures. 

So . . .  What is love?  When you're giving it to an n -- it's a total waste of time.  That's what it is. 

GN