Misprounounced words- gosh there were so many!  here are some of my favorites

 

culti-sac (for cul de sac)

sy- reens (for sirens)

subscription (for prescription)

 

Stupid sayings:

 

"I grew up as far north as I did south."

 

"The boy was talking about the thing" (we are all supposed to know which boy and what thing).

 

He was so picky, he would:

 

Insist that you open a new bar of soap over the trash can so that no soap slivers or soap dust would fall on the floor!

 

Have to make every body's bed in the house.  He didn't call it "making" the bed, he called it "fixing" the bed.

 

Want to eat fast food every night so we wouldn't mess up his kitchen.

 

Sweep the driveway every time we left the house.

 

Not leave the house until everything was perfectly clean and in its place.

 

Have to have the light switches all going the same direction.

 

Have several layers of carpet mats on the floor of his car, with the top layer being newspaper.

 

insist that we go shoeless in the house and use a special pair of shoes when we were on the screened porch, so as to not track "oil from the floor of the screened porch."  I never saw this "oil" but I guess maybe he could see it with his x-ray eyes.

 

As for tombstones, my ex was obsessed with buying a creche for his cremated remains.  I refused to buy one with him, although he bugged me about it for years.  After the divorce, he bought a double creche for himself and his deceased sister.  On her's it says "beloved sister of XXX."    On his,  he has already had them engrave  "XXX, beloved son, brother and dad."

 

I could go on and on, too!

 

One more thing- HELP ME CELEBRATE.  I believe today is the 3 year anniversary of the day I finally got him out of the house, through court order! And we have now been divorced about 2 1/2 years!!!!!!  Hallelujah!!!!!!