dis,

All I can say is run for the nearest exit.......

NO........Never........absolutely not.......

 

And, don't discount yourself....pull yourself out of the depths of that low self-esteem and stop thinking he is "YOUR ONLY HOPE"... You are letting all the horrific fears he has put into you control your mind.....

 

I know......I gave 25 faithful years to the stbxnh I am now divorcing---

 

Why would you choose to have a child with someone who "was bad in so many ways"-------????   Without you realizing it, you are actually answering your own question....

 

"everyone else seems boring".........Dis, please get yourself into counseling-------- You have to think about you....what's best for you...what's healthiest for you------- and having a baby with someone who is N/bad is not the answer-----this will lead to a lifetime of N control, manipulation, lies, deceit, unfaithfullness, emotional pain, confusion, degradation, and a living hell......

 

And, whether Nism is genetic....... I love my stbxm-i-lw but I know she has N issues .... and unfortunately my oldest child has exhibited N's traits for many years----------

 

You are dealing with fear---------and my niece told me 2 things about fear......when I was afraid to continue the walk away from stbxnh....

 

      FEAR - is the silent whisper in your ear that says to accept

                   the unacceptable

 

      FEAR - false evidence apppearing real......

 

Don't do as I have done...... I sit here knowing what your life will be if you go back-----I did it for 20 years...... and FINALLY after 25 years I put him out, and I am now dealing with the most vicious, vile, lying, unfaithful N rage ----- and going thru the most horriffic divorce...........  SAVE YOURSELF THE YEARS OF HEARTACHE THAT I ENDURED...........  be stronger than what I was........... and walk away...as fast as you can!!!!