| I think we can't for them come until you are able to forgive yourself. I think forgiveness takes time. When it comes to the N, forgiveness equals indifference. Forgiveness is when the hate is replaced with indifference. It takes time and NC. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way. I cycle back and forth because certain events, such as holidays or certain times of the year. There are memories that are scars that take time to fade. As time goes by new memories that are better come and replace the old, bad ones. I think it takes years to overcome the abuse, and the memories, but it does happen when we make happy memories, to replace the old ones. We can't forget what the N did, but we can learn from it and let it go as time goes by and the pain and hurt isn't as strong. Forgiveness is letting go of the the anger and the pain. It is for us. Not the N. We do not have to break Contact in order to forgive. We just have to let go of the bad feelings we have toward them. Don't confuse forgiving with making friends with the N. I don't want to be friends with any abuser, weather it's the N or not. |
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